96 Moments of Kevin
by Skylark Evanson
Summary: Kevin... Kevin... Yeah, I wonder how badly this could go...
1. First Try

**A/N: the first of 96 MOMENTS OF KEVIN! OH YEAH! Enjoy! This won on my poll with 7 votes (out of 15) and 'Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda' came in second. i'll post the first chapter of that in a week or so. it's already written, so don't worry.**

**Disclaimer: own Kevin. Uh-huh. I legally changed my name to Man of Action. (jk jk)**

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"Did it hurt?" he asked softly, staring into the girl's perfect blue eyes. He liked the soft glow that they radiated. They were the reason he was drawn to her.

She cocked her head to one side and smiled a crooked smile. "What do you mean?"

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" Kevin worked to make his voice sincere about it and to at least attempt to look cool. It wasn't everyday a girl decided to talk to him. And so far, so good by his standards.

A pink blush rose to her cheeks, face flaming. "Aww, you're so sw-"

"Because your face is really messed up." He drove the car right over the cliff and got himself smacked, the girl disappearing into a building.

"Wow, Kevin," Gwen laughed softly as the story concluded. She could just imagine a ten-year-old version of her boyfriend saying that. "I'm so glad you gained some class before we met you again…"

Ben had spit artichoke and lemon smoothie all over the floor of Kevin's car.

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**A/N: these will be just like 83 Moments of Ben, but a Kevin version!!!! Hope you liked it! Review please!**

**~Sky**


	2. Imagination

**A/N: so I've been working hard on 'Singing To Your Twisted Melody'. These might come seconded to that. So give me some time. Pleaseeee. Lol. 7 reviews in the first 2 dayz. I call that a personal record! Thanks everyone for the support!! (typing with a bandaged pinkie and it's very, very hard). So another moment of Kevin… winging it. Again.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kevin Ethan Levin or any character associated with Ben 10 or Ben 10: Alien Force**

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Kevin slid beneath a dumpster, silent and dangerous. By his standards at least. "Are you crazy?"

"Maybe."

His obsidian eyes flicked over the top, analyzing the situation. Standing so very close were two guards. Each carried something similar to a baseball bat. With a weird looking handle. "I always thought you were."

"Aw. Good to hear that you know me all too well."

"Yeah, you could say that." He snapped one wrist and clicked the magazine of the gun into place. "I mostly only know you because you're probably the only friend I have."

"Of course I am."

Kevin checked the weapon real quick and started blasting at their feet. They both danced like a couple of monkeys, no real damage done. They jumped up and down, hats falling off and the baseball bats clattering to the street. "And we run now!" He ducked out of his hiding place and ran for the cover of New York's crowded sidewalks, his imaginary friend right behind him. He knew this game was one he could never lose since he was really the only one really playing it.

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**A/N: Kevin needed an imaginary friend. And I like writing some random crap and just throwing it out there. Plus, back when he was a cute and adorable 11 year old, I luvd him so very much. Review and tell me how freaky his imaginary friend is for being insane!**

**~Sky**

**P.S. next one is called 'Marshmallow'**


	3. Marshmallow

**A/N: BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!**

**Disclaimer: you know the drill by now.**

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Ben sat there, his pencil scrawling out numbers to his math homework. Algebra sucked. The graphite formed a perfect 2. He sat there to admire his work for a second.

_WHUMP!_

A white thing flew right past his head, the size of a golf ball. It hit the couch right next to his head and fell onto his lap where all his papers had been only a second ago. He'd thrown them all over from the scare of something threatening to hit him. Small and white would definitely hurt if it was hard enough. Ben's heart raced as he looked at the direction the projectile had come from.

There was wild laughter from the other side of the garage. "Dude! You _flinched_!" Kevin was doubled over, laughing so hard it made his chest hurt. His face was stretched into a wide and perfect smile.

"What the heck did you throw at me?" Ben asked, looking over to Kevin, a bit furious by his sudden spark of a hobby for annoying his brunette friend, especially during homework. Then his green gaze fell to the object in his lap.

A marshmallow.

"Really?" snorted Ben. "Really, Kev?" He picked it up and threw it back at his raven-haired friend who ducked easily out of the way, nearly tripping over a stray toolbox.

Another peal of howling laughter rang through the garage.

Ben leaned over to grab his papers which were strewn all over the hard, cold floor. The second he did, something did another _WHUMP! _right into his back. "Kevin, can you please grow half a brain and cut it out?" His green eyes scanned the garage, but his friend had disappeared.

He lowered himself back down onto the couch and kicked his feet up onto the other toolbox that he'd functioned into a footrest.

_WHUMP!_

Another marshmallow smacked in the direct center of his forehead. A perfect hit.

Kevin cracked up, hitting his head on the ground as he doubled over from his hiding places. It didn't hurt. He already had a headache from laughing too hard.

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**A/N: BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!**

**~Sky**


	4. How To Spell Moron

**A/N: thanks soooo much, guys!!! 751 hits yesterday!!! I feel so special!!!**

**Disclaimer: if you do not know that this is not Man of Action by now, then you may need to be tested…**

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"Hey," Ben said, running into the garage and toppling into the couch on the side. "Can you help me out?"

"With?" Kevin asked softly from beneath his car. There were a few clanging noises. A wrench nearly missed hitting his face. It would've left a pretty bad ding in his now permanent armor. "If it's anything insane, count me out."

"No, I just want you to quiz me on a spelling test I have tomorrow."

Even Kevin knew that spelling wasn't taught in a freshman year of high school. He'd skipped out on freshman year. And sophomore year too now. "Um, okay then."

A slip of paper was shoved under the car unexpectedly. "Thanks! I totally owe you!"

Kevin watched Ben's Converse clad feet disappear as he headed back towards the couch. Blinking a few times, he asked, "What do you want me to do?" Spelling wasn't a forte of his. Neither was reading.

"Read off a word and I'll spell it and you just tell me if I spell it right." Ben sounded overly confident.

"A bit complicated don't you think?"

Ben let out a snort of a laugh. "Nope."

Obsidian eyes skimming the list, Kevin caught one word that even he knew how to spell. "Moron."

"Really?" Ben asked. An eyebrow raised to question this. "That's on the list?"

"Yeah. Spell it." Kevin fought off snickers.

"Uh…" Ben traced through his thoughts. "M-O-R-O-N."

Kevin smirked in his natural way. "Nope."

Ben's eyes widened. He knew he had it right. He knew it. "What? How?!" He scrambled to his feet. Pacing over to the vehicle, he got down on his knees to look under the car at Kevin who was obviously scheming. "Kevin…"

"It's B-E-N. Duh." Kevin threw the paper out at Ben's face. "Now get out of my garage. I got work to do." He picked up his wrench again and pressed it next to the bolt he had to work on tightening.

Ben scowled and left, annoyed.

Three hours later, the brunette figured out that moron was not spelled B-E-N.

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**A/N: I liked this. It was better in my head though… Reviews make me smile!**

**~Sky**


	5. Pineapple & Toothpaste

**A/N: I just realized how much fun I could actually have with these. I mean, with Kevin, that gives me a reason to bring in Eliza and Devlin and we all know how much insanity can occur with them around… hehehe… but this has no connection to 'Warped' so I'd call them AUs to each other. Wutever happenz in this one has no relation to the other and visa versa.**

**Disclaimer: own what I own. Man of Action owns what I don't.**

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Eliza came running out of the bathroom, toothbrush scrubbing her tongue as hard and fast as her tiny hands could move. She made whimpering sounds before running to find her mother.

The red-haired woman turned away from washing dishes at the sink, hearing the footsteps racing down the long hallway that led to all the bedrooms. Fast running and the gentle panting of a girl.

"Momma! Momma, Momma!" cried the girl, the toothbrush slightly blocking each word from being entirely clear. Her hair streamed behind her in long waves. Tears filled her emerald green eyes. "Momma!"

Mrs. Levin turned around slowly, the child instantly clinging to her leg, six-year-old hands grabbing onto the woman's jeans. "Momma!" the girl whined, the toothbrush falling from her mouth. "Momma, he lied!"

"Who lied?" Gwendolyn asked softly, reaching down to pick up her daughter. She held the small girl into her chest. "Was it Devlin or Emery?"

The girl balled her fists behind her mother's neck. "No." She buried her face in the woman's shirt.

She stroked the girl's hair. It was a mix of ebony and streaks of red around her face. "Who was it, sweetheart?" The redhead had a haunting suspicion of who it was.

"Daddy," she whimpered.

Surprised she didn't guess that first, Gwendolyn held her daughter tight. Of course, it was Kevin. How did she think anything differently? "What'd he do?" she asked, giving her daughter as comforting kiss on her forehead.

"He told me that- that pineapple and toothpaste tasted- tasted good together," Eliza whimpered. The tears crept down her face slowly.

Gwendolyn could only smile and try to hide it as well as she could. Only Kevin… Only Kevin… She gave her daughter a tight hug. "Can you listen to me?" she asked softly, getting her daughter to look her in the eyes. "Listen, okay?"

The six-year-old only nodded, brushing away sparkling tears with the sleeve of her shirt, feeling neglected with the lies she'd been told. "Uh-huh."

"Whenever Daddy tells you something that sounds stupid like that," Gwen murmured softly to the girl, "Don't listen to him. He's an idiot most of the time if you haven't already noticed."

A tiny giggle escaped the girl.

"Hey," came a masculine voice. Clearly Kevin. "What's going on? I heard crying." His head came around the corner, one hand reached up to ruffle his shoulder length ebony hair. Dark circles hung around beneath his obsidian eyes. "What'd I miss?"

"Eliza ate some pineapple and toothpaste," Gwendolyn said, giving her husband a disapproving look. "Like you told her to."

He couldn't help but laugh. The corners of his lips curled up. His hand dropped onto the counter next to him. His hair fell around his face, blocking off his expression from both his wife and daughter. "Gwen, you can't seriously tell me she actually listened?"

The redhead pointed to the toothbrush on the floor. "She did."

He laughed a bit harder, smiling wide. Then he looked to them both and took his hand from the granite counter. Kevin took a step towards them. "Come 'ere, Eli," he said softly, putting his arms out to take the girl. He loved his daughter so much. He didn't mean to. They both knew that.

Eliza carefully put her arms around her father's neck. She wiggled her way into his arms. She was still thoroughly upset with him.

He gave her forehead a swift kiss. "Eli, don't listen to me when I'm bein' stupid, okay? And when I tell you something tastes good, just tell your brothers. Emery is doomed to try it and Devlin… yeah." He held her in his arms for a minute. "Better?"

"Can I have chocolate since you were a big fat meanie liar?"

_Always a conartist_, Gwendolyn thought. She watched as her husband set down their beautiful dark-haired beauty of a daughter. Eliza ran off without a second question, going to find the promised chocolate. "Why did you tell her that?" the woman asked, leaning against a table. She used one hand to brush the red strands from her line of vision and the other to reach out to the man she loved.

Kevin let out a sigh. "Didn't think she'd listen." He gave a tiny shrug. "I thought she'd run off and let Emery have at some pineapple and toothpaste, but I guess she wanted to figure something out for herself." He wrapped one arm around her waist. The other reached up to play with her hair.

"You do realize that if her middle name wasn't Marina, it would be Daredevil. She does _anything_ just to compete with the boys." Gwen's arms laced themselves behind Kevin's neck.

There was a scream and giggling from two other voices. "MOMMA!" cried a boy as he ran right smack into Kevin's leg. "TOOTHPASTE AND PINEAPPLE DO _NOT_ TASTE GOOD TOGETHER!" Climbing on the counter next to the sink behind his mother, he grabbed the sprayer, flipped on the water, and began spraying it into his mouth, consequently getting water all over his face.

"See?" Kevin was chuckling. "_That_ was what I thought would happen." He watched as their second son soaked himself while trying to get the taste off his tongue.

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**A/N: for those of us who have tried it (me), it truly is **_**nasty**_**. And it feels like your tongue's on fire and it hurts and stings and it's just flat out **_**bad**_**. Don't try this unless you really, really want to know! Review!**

**~Sky**


	6. The Spontaneously Combusting Microwave

**A/N: I **_**had**_** to get this up before I left. Sorry guys. Today's my last day. Hope you all can survive without me. I'll miss reading the reviews and smiling and laughing at what u all say… it always brightens my day.**

**So this one is the beginning of the Bacon Traumas that will occur all throughout '96 Moments of Kevin'. Trust me, I can think of a lot of ways to traumatize Kevin with bacon… so imagine a cute little pudgier version of Kevin with even longer hair and looking adorable (pretty much like the picture in 'Vendetta').**

**Disclaimer: own bacon. Especially the Canadian kind. Yum.**

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His mom had left home only a few minutes ago. The step was gone on another business trip. It was a good thing.

Kevin rubbed one onyx eye and looked around for any sign that pointed to some food his mother had made and left out for him. Not a slip of paper in her delicate handwriting. Nothing of the sorts.

With a sigh, he opened up the refrigerator with a few hard tugs, putting six years of weight into it. He was left home a lot. Mostly later in the day though. When it was early, his mom usually woke him up. When she was busy and late (which was often), she let him sleep a few extra hours.

He shuffled over to the closet and got out a small bench that his mom had bought. Sadly, he was short. It sucked. Ultimately.

Bending over, he dragged it at a shuffling pace to the open door at the fridge. Once it was positioned exactly where he wanted it, he stepped up and started pushing boxes of takeout and old pizza aside.

If there was one skill both his mother and the step lacked, it was any kind of cooking. There was no point to even owning a stove or oven. Whenever they made an attempt at cookies, there was almost always a fire. The smoke alarm would go off and Kevin would drop to the floor and scream bloody murder. He hated the smoke alarm. More than anything else.

Pulling the bacon from one of the top shelves, Kevin dragged it down and set it on the counter behind him. He got down slowly. Then the little boy pulled the bench out of the way so he could close the refrigerator again.

Silently, he stood on his tiptoes and turned on the radio so that the house wasn't completely silent. He didn't like how quiet it was when he was alone. Some weird oldies music cranked out of it. He didn't mind.

Kevin moved the bench underneath a cabinet and got back up onto it to get a plate for himself. He grabbed the scissors while he was up there. Naturally, he always forgot he needed them until he put the bench away. The boy smiled as he realized he didn't forget this time.

He pushed the bench back over to the counter where he had left the bacon and slit open the packaging with the green kid-size scissors. Sticky clear-ish fluid spilled out. A cuss word slipped his lips, glad his mom didn't hear it. He'd clean up later.

Kevin reached for the plate and pulled it over to him. He dropped a few slices of bacon on the plate. Good thing they had a microwave. The boy wasn't allowed to use the stove like his mother did for bacon.

He left the plate up on the counter as he got down and kicked the bench over to the microwave before returning to grab the plate. He held it above his head and carried it to the black machine. Kevin clicked the door open on it, the force of it releasing nearly knocking the plate out of his tiny pale hands. Barely, he kept a hold on it. He ducked under the door and swung it out further so it wouldn't get in his way. Then he shoved the plate into the middle of the microwave, centering it perfectly.

Ducking back under the door to shut it, Kevin pressed a few buttons and it started buzzing, the light turning on. The music still played behind him.

The boy sat on the bench, keeping a relatively close eye on the microwave.

It spontaneously combusted.

"Aw crap," he groaned, getting up and dragging the bench over to the counter where the wireless phone was. He dialed the three quick numbers and sighed, waiting only one ring before his good friend Alyse picked up.

"Again, Kevin?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, looking back at the fire, which had spread to the cabinets and drapes. "Call the fireguys. I need 'em." Kevin headed out the front door.

Alyse sighed from the other end. "What happened?"

He crossed the front lawn of lush green grass. "Just the usual. I tried to make my own breakfast and the microwave just went all **POOF!** on me and burst into flames." He brushed a curtain of ebony hair from his face. "Why does it have to be me? Why can't some other idiot kid blow up a microwave?"

"It's alright. Are your folks there?"

"Nah. Just me today." He plopped himself down on the curb, keeping his eyes peeled for any signs of the fireguys.

"I'm sorry, Kev."

He shrugged, knowing very well that she couldn't see it. "Doesn't matter. So what's up with you?" he asked, needing some company. "Did your husband get to keep his job? You told me last time that there were some cuts and stuff."

"He did actually!" Alyse said, amazed a six-year-old like Kevin could remember that. "Thanks for asking."

An engine revved around the corner.

"Gotta go, Alyse!" he said into the phone, eyes widening as he saw big red truck. "The fireguys are here! Thanks for sendin' 'em!"

"You're welcome. Bye, Kevin."

"Bye-bye!"

The line went dead on both ends.

Kevin waved as the same fireguys came into his house with a hose. Just to put out a stupid fire that his idiotic microwave caused. "Hiya, Jim," Kevin said as one of them passed him, slowing down to check for injuries. As usual, there were none. "It's just me and it's in the kitchen."

"'Kay, buddy." The fireguy ruffled Kevin's hair before charging in.

Five minutes later, they all came out. Jim approached first while the others headed back to the truck. "It's out. Did you call your mom?"

"Does she _reallllllyyy_ have to know about this one?" Kevin asked, putting on the cute face. He'd perfected it to the ultimate cuteness level. "I mean, she'll find out later and stuff, so I don't wanna tell her and you don't wanna tell her so we could probably let this one slide for just a _littttllleeeee_ bit longer, right?"

"You are going to be a great con-artist," Jim said, picking him up. "Come on. Let's all go get tacos."

He was a natural born con-artist, not to mention a pyro.

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**A/N: lol. Didn't turn out like I had planned, but it'd b hilarious if u culd imagine wut I imagine when he sees it explode. Just his cute little eyes get all big and then he's like "Aw crap." And he's lookin all cute and stuff. Lol. It's hilarious!!!!!!! like it??**

**~Sky**


	7. Sneak Her Out

**A/N: okay, a fluffier moment. Originally, this was going an entirely different direction when i planned it out… im not sure how it took the spin it did, but whatever**

**Disclaimer: don't own Kevin or Gwen or Kevin's car. But I wish I did.**

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Gwen slipped into the car as Kevin ran for the cover of the overhang underneath her bedroom window to shelter him from the pelting rain. It was coming down in sheets and buckets, the gray storm clouds letting loose their fury. He shot her one of his devilish smiles that sent her heart fluttering faster than a humming bird's wings.

He'd promised that they would go on a date that night. She'd argued with her parents and they'd grounded her. And Kevin wanted to improvise. He made a promise and now he was sneaking her out of her room at two in the morning. Kevin wasn't goin to let her down. Not this time.

She found herself shivering even in Kevin's jacket. It smelled of him. Warm and musky, but perfect. And a lot like the garage. The oil scent was his trademark. Gwen curled up tighter in it, breathing in his warmth that lingered.

Her fingers wound through her red haired that was dark with the rain and cold, clinging to her face.

Kevin's dark form lumbered up the tree just outside her bedroom window. Gwen's emerald eyes tracked his every movement until he disappeared inside, hidden by the dark crimson curtains that hung behind the panes of glass. She watched the light go on and illuminate her room, Kevin's burly figure walking around, looking for the lost clasp from the locket he gave her.

She wore it everyday and didn't take it off at night, wanting to keep that memory of Kevin close to her heart. She would never forget him, even if he wasn't a monster anymore and she had no need to remember the way he used to look, Gwen always knew that Kevin had put more effort into that than he did into anything else.

It was no question why the clasp had broken, but she wished it had been another day, in the garage or something so that he could help her find it. Or maybe they'd just lay in the backseat of his car and she would kiss him again and again while he ran his calloused dirty fingers through her fiery hair...

If only her daydreams were a reality.

The porch lights flipped on and she knew Kevin had been caught. Especially when her father came out, Kevin bent over a bit and letting out little yelps of pain every few feet as he trailed Mr. Tennyson to the car. "Gwen, gear it and run," her boyfriend suggested quickly with a rush of breath.

Mr. Tennyson threw him to the sidewalk, a splash arising from the puddle Kevin had been shoved down into. "You _will not_ sneak around in my daughter's room. You _will not_ go against my rules. You _will not_ break a promise. So get out of here before I change my mind and call your parents." Frank stormed off back to the house; the porch lights were killed with a flick of the switch inside.

Kevin stared at the door for a second, obsidian eyes wide with fear. As the lights died, he ran for the car, slipping and falling on the driveway only to scramble back to his feet and open the door to let the pounding rain flood his seat. Without buckling up or giving Gwen any warning, he gunned the engine and got the car to surge away from her house faster than a speeding bullet.

The girl looked over at him, her mouth twisted into a half smile. "What is wrong with you? You're awfully jumpy."

"Your father just brought back an ocean of memories which I will not dive into at this moment." He reached one hand up to run his hand through his soaked ebony hair. "I can handle the Null Void without breaking a sweat. I can fight Albedo and only lose because I'm stuck to the ground. And I can handle you on the worst of days because I love you. But your dad..." Kevin's voice trailed off as he caught his breath, running a stop sign in the process. His terrified earthen eyes hit her emerald ones. "Your dad is freaking scary, Gwen."

She gave him a slightly puzzled look as his gaze flickered back to the road. "Explain," she said, hoping she'd get to ask about the memories that had come back later.

"If he doesn't like me, I can't date you. I can't see you. I can't kiss you. I'll never get to be with you." His fingers became intertwined with hers and Kevin's hand closed around Gwen's. "And that's all I want."

Heart melting, Gwen leaned over and rested her head on his sopping wet shoulder. "All I want is you, Kevin."

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**A/N: see what I mean? It took a definitely different spin. I guess it was how I started it off. I'll try again soon… review if you love the epic failure of my fluff attempt!**

**~Sky**


	8. Hokey Pokey

**A/N: 900 HITS YESTERDAY! WOW!!!!! THANK YOU TO EVERYONE!! THANK YOU SOOOO VERY MUCH!!!**

**Disclaimer: yada yada yada**

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Kevin had been acting weird all day. He'd put his hand out before drawing it back to his side. He'd do it again and then sit there, thinking for a few seconds. Then he'd do the same thing with his left hand. And again, he'd repeat the motion, shaking his hand before drawing it back to his side and resuming a thoughtful position.

Gwen had watched him sit on that couch for almost an hour now, doing the exact same thing the whole time.

Right hand would dart out. Then it would be tucked back at his side. Then it would jump out again and shaken. It was as if he was thinking something through the whole time. His dark eyes were distracted.

What the heck was that boy doing?

She always wondered about him. This was very strange. Possibly neurotic. Maybe he had been too traumatized as a child and now this part of his brain was kicking in as he was wondering about how his hands moved…

Gwen was left puzzled about Kevin. He always seemed to be so strange and different, but at times like these, he was just distant. The redhead couldn't believe that this was Kevin.

His obsidian eyes were just the same, dark and warm, twinkling with mischief and a twinge of curiosity. Kevin's ebony hair was falling barely over his eyes, concealing hardly any of his vision. He could still see anything in his way. His muscles still bulged through his shirt, forcing Gwen to want him even more, her heart beating quickly. Then there was that smell of grease and oil that always wafted about him, sweet in its own way…

"What if the hokey pokey is what it's all about?"

His voice pulled her out of her thoughts about him. "Huh?"

"What if the hokey pokey is what it's all about?" Kevin was staring at her. He was serious. This was a real question passing his lips. Dead, cold, serious.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Gwen, seriously think about this." He rose to his feet. "Watch, okay? I don't get it, but it's weird and I'm really bugged by this now." He put his right hand forward, palm facing the ground. "You put your right hand in." His dark eyes flashed up to meet Gwen's emerald ones. "Come on, I don't want to be standing here like an idiot all alone. Do it with me. Put your right hand in." He shook his hand a bit.

Blinking a few times, Gwen obeyed. She put her right hand forward.

"Put your right hand out." Kevin pulled his hand back to his side as Gwen did the same. He smiled and continuted. "You put your right hand in and you shake it all about." He shook his hand.

The redhead had to think about what was going on here. Why were they doing the hokey pokey again? Still, she shook her hand in the air.

Kevin kept going. "You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself about." He did a little spin move, raven colored hair swishing around his face.

Gwen wasn't about to stop now. She wanted to know where this was going. The girl spun.

"That's what it's all about." Kevin stood there and threw his hands up. "I'M SO CONFUSED! WHAT IF THE HOKEY POKEY REALLY IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT?! THEN WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE?!"

Dancing got them nowhere. Kevin was still as lost as ever.

Gwen was wondering why she even agreed to join in on this.

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**A/N: just a thought… R&R! Thankzzz!**

**~Sky**


	9. Morning, Sunshine!

**A/N: hamster drama at home. *sigh* stupid rats. we got a new one and we're already giving him to my bestie bcuz she's a hamster expert and our stupid cage aint big enough and Jared's not active enough or fun for my sister who thought he'd b perfect. AND HE IS! she just wants a smaller one and my dad hates the new one.**

**Disclaimer: own nothing…**

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Kevin's eye opened. Then the other. "Morning, sunshine," he heard a voice say as the light filtered in through his room. He found a dark form standing over him.

"BEN!"

"Hiya," replied the shorter brunette. His jacket was thrown over one shoulder, his baggy black t-shirt blocking out most of the light from the window outside. "What's up? I'm bored. And sleepy. But mostly bored. How's your day going?"

"Since you showed up, badly." He pulled the blankets over his face. "Why are you in here anyways?"

"You did break the back door of my house."

"I clearly remember that." Kevin liked breaking doors. Especially Ben's. Breaking Ben's stuff was much fun for him.

"So I broke yours and decided to wake you up this morning!" Ben's quirky little smile radiated his joy for being able to annoy Kevin. It was fun. Breaking doors was fun. Ben found a new pleasure in life. "Morning, sunshine!" he repeated, sounding ecstatic.

"I oughta kill you."

"Yes, yes you should." He grinned wildly.

"Or I could push you out my window. I'm pretty sure there are bushes out there with big thorns and stuff." Kevin made sure his face was buried into the pillow. He liked feeling the darkness.

"Okay, let's not get crazy, Kevin. But you may want to fix that door fast." Ben was backing away slowly.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll make someone else do it later." The step was a good choice. Blaming things on him made everything easier. "Or I could still push you out that window."

Ben scowled. Apparently breaking one door was no big deal. "Must I break more stuff?"

"Have you forgotten that I can kick your butt as long as you're human? I pin one hand down and you can't take care of any Omnitrix transformations and you're toast in about… oh, about ten seconds. That's all it takes and I'm not feeling very merciful this morning."

The door to his room slammed shut after the sound of rapid footsteps was disappearing.

Peace and quiet was restored once more to the warmth of the room. Kevin covered his head with a blanket and pulled the pillow tighter around his face.

"KEVIN!" his mother cried as she walked in the door only moments later.

"BEN BROKE THE DOOR, I SWEAR!"

His door blasted open, hitting the wall behind it. His mother had stepped in, arms folded across her chest. "Get your friend Benjamin back here to fix my door."

The dark teen snorted and groped around on the floor for any sign of his Plumbers badge. As usual, it was gone and there was a hole in his own bedroom door. "Can I get him later? I don't wanna get up yet," Kevin groaned.

"Now."

A curse escaped Kevin's lips and he knew Ben had officially screwed him out of at least three more hours of sleep.

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**A/N: hahaha… payback from what happened in 'Pier Pressure'. Revenge is sweet, aint it?**

**~Sky**


	10. Bananas

**A/n; da da da da…. Let's randomly write for the day!!**

**Disclaimer: write write, I'm obviously not MOA… unless I am…. OOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! MYSTERICALLY!!!!**

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Kevin tried to shove the bananas in the bag. "Gwen, it's not freaking working."

"Calm down please, Kevin. It'll work if you're patient." She rolled her eyes. Her boyfriend had been trying to put the produce into one of the plastic bags that the store handed out so the fresh fruit could be kept in them. Plus the twisty ties. Kevin loved the twisty ties. She usually found like ten or twelve in the floor of his car.

He pulled the yellow fruit back out of the bag. Then he closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "Gwen, I hate this thing."

She turned and looked at him. His face was all depressed. His dark eyes, the color of the twinkling night sky, were downcast. "Please just calm down before you hurt yourself, someone else, or the bananas."

A breath escaped him as he tried to do as Gwen said. "I hate bananas. Why do we need them anyways?"

"Because I like bananas," the redhead replied. She reached over to find another pack of good clementines. She found a good box of them and threw them in the cart.

"Have I ever told you how much I hate fruit?" Kevin asked as he reopened the plastic bag and tried to shove the bananas in once again.

"Countless times, Kevin. Countless times." She shook her head before throwing an apple in the cart too.

A slicing sound was followed by a thud. Gwen turned back to Kevin to find him staring at the ground. "I swear it wasn't my fault. The bag ripped and the bananas went ker-splat!"

The redhead looked at his feet. Sure enough, pastel yellow mush was all over the ground at his feet as well as on his dark jeans and black combat boots. One half of the plastic bag laid underneath the mush and the other piece was in Kevin's hand.

Lips curling up in a smile, Gwen looked at Kevin. "Don't ever change," she giggled, hoping that he'd understand that it truly wasn't his fault.

"IT'S THE BANANAS FAULT!"

* * *

**A/N: me. And bananas. Don't mix. Kevin has the same problems. R&R!**

**~Sky**


	11. A Grammar Lesson From Kevin

**A/N: just needed some writing time… finally, an escape from the world.**

**Just found this on Dwayne McDuffie's website…**

**Jdgs asked: "2-. Does Gwen like Kevin because he is a bad boy? (A line from Empire Strikes Back comes to my mind She likes him because He's a scoundrel and there aren't enough scoundrels in her life.)"**

**Dwayne answered: "2. Gwen likes Kevin because Kevin is likable."**

**TRU DAT!!**

**Disclaimer: I'm going to build a time machine, go back a whole bunch of years, create Ben 10 and then sue Man of Action for stealing my idea!!! (jk. I luv Man of Action!)**

* * *

"Okay, Gwen, you really don't think I know grammar?" He shook his head, a small smirk alight on his pale lips. "I am _epic_ with grammar. You don't even know how epic I am. It's sickening that I'm so epic."

"If you say epic again, I may have to slap you." The red haired girl looked over at him, truly questioning what went on in his head. She could see flashes of thoughts behind his obsidian eyes, but none of it made enough sense for her to sort through anything and make heads or tails of it. Gwen was always left questioning him, but now she really wanted to know.

Ben was snorting with laughter in the back seat. Smoothie threatened to spray out of his nose and all over the floor of the car. That would be awful for all the alien tech on the ground that would short out because of smoothie-nose spray. Not to mention the fact that it was just downright gross.

"Epic." Kevin dared Gwen to slap him.

She struck out only to have her hand caught within his massive fist. And he smiled devilishly. "And again, Gwendolyn Tennyson, I am _epic_."

"So show me your grammatical epicness, Kevin Ethan Levin." Gwen slapped his arm with his other hand and as soon as he released her, the redheaded Tennyson cousin folded her arms across her chest, clearly expecting a good answer for this one.

With a flicker of amusement and plotting behind his dark earthen eyes, Kevin pushed open the driver's side door, never dropping Gwen's gaze, which pierced his own. Yet again, he smirked. Then he stood outside for a moment, leaving his door hanging open.

Gwen watched his finely muscled arm reach down and pull his seat forward as to allow space for Ben to get out.

"Get out here, Benji," the dark teen commanded sternly, snapping his fingers twice in succession. Then he pointed at the ground. "Now."

Without asking any questions, Ben only raised an eyebrow before complying simply. He clambered over the driver's seat and climbed out of the car so that his dirty black Converse hit the ground with a _thud_. His smoothie remained in hand, not a drop spilled.

The redhead was left wondering where this was going…

"Now, Gwen, let's just look at this for a moment." He paused and stroked an imaginary goatee, surveying the scene. "This is Ben," he explained, gesturing to the said boy.

Ben gave a little wave, lips sucking away at the straw that was inside his smoothie cup.

"And I am Kevin," he pointed out.

"I'm pretty sure I knew this much, Captain Obvious. Now what does this have to do with grammar?" she asked, left smiling like an idiot because her boyfriend was just a funny guy to begin with. Making him do stupid things like this was just an added bonus of keeping him around and it made her fall in love with him over and over again each day.

"Now watch carefully, lovely Gwen."

She suddenly worried that he was really Darkstar in disguise…

Then one of Kevin's hands raised from hanging limp at his side…

"Kevin, what the heck are you going to do with me?" asked the brunette boy standing beside the dark teen.

And he pushed Ben over.

A giggling fit overtook Gwen and she found herself hardly able to breathe from the hilarity of this.

"Now, Gwen, keep in mind that I, Kevin, pushed him, Ben, down."

She couldn't stop laughing as Kevin's nearly straight face was overtaken by the slightest of grins that she loved. Yet, the redhead couldn't quite understand what in the world this had to do with grammar.

"In this scenario, Ben is the faller."

Not able to question him through the giggles that possessed her, Gwen just laughed even harder. It took nearly five minutes for Gwen to regain even an ounce of her composure. Then she cleared her throat, fighting off the laughter yet again as she caught sight of Ben's shocked face. It was covered in smoothie and grit that clung to his face because of the sticky liquid substance. He glared up at Kevin and attempted to get up. Kevin glared back down at him. The brunette boy whimpered like a puppy and remained huddled on the ground.

"Now, Kevin, what does this have to do with grammar?" she asked a few moments later.

He smiled and gave a very small shrug. "I have no idea. I just wanted to push Ben down."

* * *

**A/N: nearly died laughing when I thought of this. and yes, "faller" really is a word! Feedback and commentary is gratefully welcomed!**

**~Sky**


	12. Beautiful Tools

**A/N: watching 'The Suite Life of Zack & Cody'. Something that Arwin did sounded so much like Kevin that I nearly died laughing.**

**Disclaimer: I. Shall. Rule. The. World. Don't question. So I'll buy Man of Action and Ben 10 when I get around to it. But for now, not mine.**

* * *

"Hey," Kevin called to Gwen as she came back into the garage.

A basic strawberry smoothie from Mr. Smoothy was in one hand. In the other, a soda from Burger Shack. For Kevin. Since he was Captain Anti-Smoothie and all. "Hey," the redhead replied. She put her cup on the worktable that was littered with tools and materials. "Got your soda." With her lithe steps, she walked over to him and put the cup down into his palm.

He gave her his best 'Thank You' smile before his lips closed around the straw.

The girl reached down and ruffled his hair. "Better?"

"Uh, yah," he replied as if it were something obvious. His deep earthen brown eyes sparkled with the appreciation and gratitude.

She sat down close to him and leaned against the front of the car. "You know you're a very strange boy, don't you?" she reminded him. Gwen reached over and played with his raven colored hair.

He nodded, still sipping away at the soda.

"Do you know what tomorrow is?" she asked, trying to get him to pay more attention to her. Gwen leaned in closer to him.

"It's the…nineteenth." He had to do enough math in his head to last a while. "What's so important?" he asked.

The girl wanted to snap at him, but instead wove her fingers through his hair and let the ebony strands twine around her fingers. She leaned in closer and let her lips fall against his as they both sat against the car.

Kevin's hand touched the back of Gwen's neck and pulled her in closer to him. "It's the nineteenth _today_, Gwendolyn," he murmured, letting his kisses crest her cheeks as her face tried to bury itself in the crook of his neck. "Tomorrow is the twentieth."

She cursed herself for not keeping perfect track of the days. "Do you know what today is then?"

He sighed. "Of. Course. It's not your birthday," he said with a short chuckle, pulling away from her, but still keeping his hand close, letting his arm fall around her waist. "And it's not my birthday."

"Clearly," she muttered, tucking herself closer to him.

"And since no one actually cares about Ben, I'm assuming it's an important day in our relationship which means I need to be extra sweet and special to you." He gave her forehead a swift kiss. "So what do you want, my love?"

"I want you… to stop talking like some weird British guy, Kev," she stated with a calm laugh. She placed one soft and delicate palm on his chest. "And it's been a month since I kissed you the first time."

"Victory kiss," he breathed, repeating the exact words she'd said. "Yeah, that was _excellent_, by the way."

She found herself giggling like a little school girl. "Thank you." Now they were on formal terms. What the heck was going on? And Kevin really did sound like some strange British guy. Gwen didn't like that.

"And, yes, I remembered, Gwen. Don't you dare think that I forgot." He started to get to his feet and Gwen missed feeling him right next to her. His warmth was now disappearing slowly as he crossed the garage over to the worktable where she'd left her strawberry smoothie. The cup smiled at her. Why would someone even put a smiley face on a cup?

Kevin disappeared for a few minutes. Gwen took this opportunity to fix her mussed hair and to make sure that her shirt was pulled up instead of having it too low. She knew how Kevin's mind worked on _some_ subjects. Others, he was as much of a mystery as the Loch Ness Monster.

He returned soon after, holding something behind his back. Kevin plopped himself down beside her. "Happy… I don't know what it is, but let's just hope it's happy." With a cute smirk, he leaned over and kissed her.

"How can I not be happy when I'm with you?" Gwen asked, almost silently as she stared into his beautiful eyes that twinkled as much as the night sky, enticing her to kiss him some more so the rest of the world could be forgotten in those few simple moments of them being together and so deeply in love.

"Okay, to be totally honest, I did forget. Kind of. But I didn't mean to. I'm bad with this kind of stuff."

Now _that_ was the Kevin she expected. _That_ was the Kevin she loved. The redhead rested her head on his shoulder. "I don't care."

He let out a sigh. "Good. I just got you a whole bunch of tools." One hand came from around his back, full of wrenches and hammers and pliers. "I vote we give me a 'Boyfriend of the Year' award for the effort and coming up with it within thirty seconds. What do you think?"

She had to sigh this time. "Kevin, you just amaze me." Yet Gwen couldn't tell her heart that he wasn't right for her. She had to accept how beautiful he was in the light and how incredible he was for just randomly coming up with something that still stunned her with delight, no matter how lame it really was. "Yeah, 'Boyfriend of the Year' award for Kevin."

He pumped a fist into the air. "YES!"

* * *

**A/N: I would love to have a bouquet of tools. Especially Kevin's tools. Review it!**

**~Sky**


	13. Locker Problems

**A/N: needed to write something in honor of tonight. The second ever episode of Ben 10: Ultimate Alien! Eeeeppp!!!! EVERYONE NEEDS TO SQUEAL LIKE A FANGIRL!!!**

**This one's title isn't the best, but if i wrote up the title i wanted to call it, it would ruin the awesomeness...**

**Disclaimer: own nothing except the shirt i iz currently wearing. And my necklace… oh well!!! Man of Action owns Ben 10**

* * *

Gwen tried her combination again. It was about the thirtieth time. Sadly, this wasn't working at all. "Stupid locker," she growled. Her ballet slipper clad foot kicked at the metal as hard as it could. Then the pain seeped between her toes and she was giving short whimpers of pain. Utterly useless. "Stupid locker."

She laid her books down on the white tiled floor. It was the end of the day. Classes had let out. The hallways were so empty that she could've heard a pin drop from the other side of the school.

Without trying again, Gwen fished around in her pocket for the cell phone that was there. Her fingers brushed against the cool metal. She grabbed the phone and pulled it out. Her hand fumbled trying to dial the familiar numbers. The buttons had been pressed enough times that she wondered why small dents hadn't come to them. She was always calling him. Always. And now there was a good reason. It wasn't for a date this time.

"Yeah, yeah, I know I'm running late," he answered. He sounded out of breath and like he had just run a couple miles or something of the sorts. "Don't worry, Gwen. I'll be there in like twelve minutes or something."

"Um… I was just calling because I wanted to tell you that I was running late. Locker's jammed." The redhead hated not being able to get the hunk of metal open. She would rather be back in preschool where there were no combinations to worry about, just cubbyholes or buckets. The easier stuff. "I was kind of hoping you could help me out."

He seemed to take a few seconds to register this information. There was a lingering silence where only his heavy breathing resonated in her ear. She kind of liked it. "Be there in fifteen minutes then."

Questions rang through her head. "A second ago you said twelve minutes…" she commented as if she hadn't heard herself correctly.

"Yeah, but I gotta get something to get your locker open now don't I?" His voice seemed to have that devilish yet whimsical tone to it that she loved. But as soon as Gwen heard it, she knew to stay on guard. Very alert guard. "I promise that I'll be there in fifteen minutes, alright?"

She forced herself to gulp down the worry that had suddenly overcome her in a wave and reply, "Okay, Kev. See you in a little bit." Gwen heard his phone click off without even a goodbye. She loved him to pieces but she couldn't stand it when he just didn't say a word and his phone just cut the line dead. "Goodbye," she whispered into the mouthpiece, almost to herself.

There was silence. Papers littered the empty hall as Gwen searched the pale painted walls for any signs of her dark knight. He would stick out like a sore thumb in a place as big as this and in so much black clothing.

It was no wonder she couldn't stay away from him.

She shifted through the papers in her binder to pull out the bit of homework she had left. Gwen dug a pencil out of her furry purple pencil case, the tip of the graphite in a perfect point. The girl was never a step behind and always on top of things. It bugged the crap out of so many people. Setting to work, Gwen realized the numbers were even less fun than she remembered. Especially in a lonely hallway with Kevin still… The watch ticked by a little more. …FOURTEEN MINUTES AWAY?!

Her head banged down on the papers and binder. "This is going to take absolutely forever."

"What will?" came a voice that she clearly knew.

Gwen toppled over to one side in surprise, holding the geometry homework tightly to her chest as his familiar dark form loomed right next to her. "God, Kevin! You scared the crap out of me!"

His snickering filled the air. "It's what I do." She watched as his hand grabbed at the papers that had gotten loose and raced away from her. "By the way, you're welcome."

"For what?" she asked fiercely. "For you scaring the living daylights out of me?!"

He seemed to rock back and forth on the heels of his combat boots for a second. "Maybe," he answered, stretching out the 'a' sound into three syllables in a way that only he could make sound amazingly tantalizing and brilliant. For being a boy off the streets of New York at least.

She pushed him down so he landed on his butt. Gwen couldn't help but look at his façade of looking utterly shattered and very much like a kicked puppy. Gwen hated his kicked puppy face. It made her want to kiss him, but she couldn't.

Thoughts pushed down and out of her mind, the redhead got herself back up off the ground. "Back to the point of you actually coming inside my school-"

"Which, by the way, gives me the ultimate creeps. I hate schools." Kevin gave his best fake shudder. "And hospitals. Don't forget that one. The smell of death is worse that the smell of the sewer system."

"Only you would know these things…" Gwen wanted to get her locker open some time this week…

Kevin seemed to always know exactly what was on her mind. "Let's pop this sucker open." He got up and nudged Gwen out of the way with his foot. Yes, his foot. Very classy. Then he reached behind him and grabbed-

"A SLEDGEHAMMER?!" Gwen spluttered, emerald eyes widened in extreme shock. "KEVIN, YOU CAN'T BRING A FREAKING SLEDGEHAMMER INTO MY SCHOOL!"

He paused but didn't put it down. His eyes took a second before they flooded with confusion. "Why not?" he asked plainly as if there was no good reason for him _not_ to have a sledgehammer in the building. "Not like I'm gonna hit anybody with it..."

"Kevin, no sledgehammer. End of discussion."

His face went all puppy dog on her. Pouty. Sad. Lonely. Definitely kicked puppy face again. He loved pretending to be all sad and disappointed. "To think that I even went out of my way to go to the garage to get this for you so I could help get your locker open and that I carried it all the way into this school and across the campus _just_ to get to your locker and to help you out just a little bit and-"

"Fine."

The dark teen pumped his fist in the air and let out a quick "WHOOP!" before throwing the handle of it over his broad shoulder and grinning like she'd never seen him before. It was just intense to see him totally free like that. Somehow, this only added to her suspicion that he smashed stuff in his free time instead of just fixing that car.

That sledgehammer was rammed right into the face of her locker, leaving a huge dent in the metal a good foot above where the lock was.

Gwen's jaw dropped as Kevin took another swing at it and left an even bigger dent. This time the metal was ripping. And after a third swing, Kevin hit the hinges and the whole door fell off, landing at the dark teen's feet as Gwen stared down at it in utter horror.

Kevin was laughing so hard and dropped the sledgehammer on the ground near him, the handle slamming against the tile floor. And he just laughed like crazy.

Again with the "utter horror". Gwen looked into the locker. None of the stuff inside was hers. "KEVIN!"

He couldn't calm down enough to even hear her yell his name. He loved smashing things. Anything. As long as he was allowed to use a sledgehammer or his fists, he was a happy camper. Destroying things. Smashing things. Breaking stuff. All on his list of hobbies.

"THAT WASN'T MY LOCKER!"

Kevin shut up real fast before staggering to his feet and running for his life. He wasn't sure who would kill him first: Gwen, for smashing another locker on her command; the owner of the locker, for obvious reasons; or the school, clearly destroying their property would make them extremely displeased. Especially if it was on a camera.

Gwen looked up at the locker number on the one next to it. Hers. "Crap."

* * *

**A/N: just compelled to give Kevin a sledgehammer for a change of heart.**

**~Sky**


	14. A Random Phone Discussion With Gwen

**A/N: again, back to work!**

**Disclaimer: you should know by now that I am Skylark Evanson, not Man Of Action!**

* * *

"So whatcha doin', Gwen?"

"Nothing."

"You can't be doing nothing."

"Says who, Kevin?"

"Says me."

"How do you believe that I'm not doing nothing?"

"You're talking to me, aren't you?"

"…"

"That counts as doing something, Gwen."

"Shut up."

"Blinking."

"I can't believe we're wasting my phone time on this discussion."

"And I'm pretty sure you're breathing too."

"…"

"And maybe sitting on your bed."

"I'm on the couch."

"So you're sitting on the couch. That's doing something."

"I hate you."

"You're hating me. That's doing something."

"Kevin…"

"You can never be doing nothing."

"What if I'm floating?"

"Then you're floating. You're still doing something."

"Stop being technical."

"Gwen, don't get all fussy with me. I'm just proving a point."

"Now what would I have to do to be doing nothing?"

"You can never be doing nothing."

"I could be dead."

"I wouldn't like that."

"I know that."

"But just to prove a point, you'd be laying in a grave six feet under."

"Kevin, I don't really care!"

"Gwen, I'm right, now just admit it."

"Never!"

"Yes, you will."

"Then prove to me that you're doing something."

"I'm staring at the locket that you left in my car today."

"…"

"Yes, Gwen. You left it in my car."

"I'm sorry. I didn't even notice."

"I'll give it back to you tomorrow."

"Thanks."

"And by giving it to you, I'd be doing something."

"Please just drop it, Kev."

"What if I don't want to?"

"Wanting is doing something."

"So is thinking."

"And living."

"And kicking alien butt. Don't forget that one."

"Kevin?"

"Yes, Gwen?"

"I hate you."

"For being right all the time?"

"No. For being right for once."

"So, Gwen, what's up?"

"Are you just changing the subject?"

"Yes. Yes, I am."

"Um… nothing's up…"

"Space is up. And so is the ceiling if you're still on your couch."

"NOT THIS AGAIN!"

"Now you're yelling at me. That's up. …kinda."

* * *

**A/N: Kevin and Gwen's random phone discussion… hope you enjoyed this one! I laughed too hard when I wrote it! Review please!**

**~Sky**


	15. Homeschooling

**A/N: just wanted to show this to you guys:**

**_Skylark Evanson wrote:  
_Will any of Greg Cipes's music make it into the series?**

**_Dwayne McDuffie:  
_That would be pretty cool, wouldn't it?**

**HECK YEAH!**

**Disclaimer: don't own Kevin unless Man Of Action feels like giving him up for me… I'd love that, honestly if you ever read this anyone famous who knows MOA…**

* * *

Kevin looked up as he heard the front door open. It was a bad instinct even though he knew he was safe to be home for the weekend. Better than some weekends where he was stuck in the garage a whole two days because of Gwen and Ben being busy and his house invaded by _him_. But promised safety, he had come home, still watching his back and jumping the second the door opened, not wanting to be surprised by _the invader_ coming back.

"Just me," came his mother's soft voice. The door closed tightly behind her.

He was able to let out a relaxed sigh and breathe once more. There was no threat to his home anymore and he could chill again with his small bag of M&Ms. "I would really love a warning or something like that, Ma. You scare me when I don't know who the heck is coming in." His obsidian gaze flicked back to the tv as he knew safety was guaranteed for another night.

"Jumpy little boy, aren't you?" she snickered, smiling at her son after dropping her purse on the chair next to him. Then the dark-haired woman leaned down and kissed the top of her son's ebony hair. "Kevin, you really should stay here from now on. I don't like you staying in that garage. It's not safe."

"Don't like 'im," repeated Kevin for at least the umpteenth time in the history of his seventeen year old life. He was just stating a fact. Kevin really didn't like his stepfather and he wasn't afraid to voice his opinion to his mother. She always accepted it before. That would never change. She always listened to him because she knew how he felt about everything and never questioned or opposed it. That was why he always came back home. He came back because he knew that there was always one place where he would be loved.

The woman sighed. "Anyways," she sighed. She fell onto the couch beside him. "What are we watching?" She turned her gaze to the tv as she saw a couple of furry red and blue puppets dancing across the screen. And another sigh came. "Really?"

"I gotta learn about numbers and letters somehow. And I'm not exactly fond of that whole high school idea that you've been throwing out there and all. Sesame Street sounds so much better." He popped an M&M into his mouth and munched on it for a second. "I like this better. It's like homeschooling but without the books and lesson plans."

And his mother let out a little laugh before reaching out to Kevin and ruffling her son's raven colored hair. "Kevin, I love you, you know that?"

He nodded slowly and watched Elmo dance across the screen. "I love letters and numbers. Especially when presented by puppets." Kevin smiled and looked over at his mother. "I think learning has suddenly gotten so much easier."

She leaned over and kissed his forehead.

* * *

**A/N: hahahaha. Sorry. I don't know where this was going originally, but I loved it. Hahaha. Of course he would use Sesame Street to learn instead of school.**

**~Sky **


	16. Brick

**A/N: softball game for my lil' sis later. Getting this up before I have to leave…**

**Disclaimer: I will not give up the hope that I will one day own Ben 10. But for now, I will have to live my life knowing that Man Of Action created it…**

* * *

Her phone rang. And rang. And rang. Gwen was just about to give up when the stupid elevator music came on. She listened to it, distinctly hearing a breathing sound between every few notes. "Kevin?"

"This is the phone number for Kevin Levin. Please call again at a different time." The line died.

She let out a frustrated sigh. Gwen couldn't believe how often he decided to piss her off just for fun. Of course, it _was_ sort of his job. Her fingers dialed the number for the garage again. This time, she wasn't about to let his elevator music antics get to her. Even though she loved it when he tried to make it sound like he was singing the stuff they played in what he liked to call "metal crates of doom".

It rang. Again. And again. Then it clicked and the elevator music came back on, Kevin's breathing still lingering between each note. "This is-"

He was cut off by a furious redheaded girlfriend. "Kevin," she started out sweetly, "I DEMAND THAT YOU ANSWER ME THIS SECOND!"

The elevator music had died on his lips. Then hysterical laughter burst through the phone, then a sound of concrete hitting something and the distinct and distant voice of her favorite brunette cousin yelling, "OW! DANGIT, KEVIN, WATCH WHERE YOU DROP THAT BRICK!"

* * *

**A/N: in other words, Kevin dropped a brick on Ben's head. REVIEW OR DIE!**

** ~Sky**


	17. Business Cycle

**A/N: another one by snake screamer and minor edits by moi. I've been saving this one… I like saving stuff for when I draw a blank…**

**Disclaimer: don't own charries. Plot idea is Snake's.**

* * *

"Why?" Gwen asked. She looked over at Kevin's friend in the corner of the room where Kevin had sent him for trying to hit his redheaded girlfriend with a quill.

Kevin blinked, confusion evident in his dark orbs as he replied with, "Why what?"

"Why do you hang out with Argit? He's both a coward and would sell you out faster than you can say 'crud'." She gave Kevin her confused face. He hardly ever saw it and she knew he loved seeing it when he could.

"Gwen, Gwen, Gwen." Kevin said in a tone similar to a teacher would use for his student. His hand fell against his forehead as if he was exhausted with explaining this already before he had even started. "Me and Argit, we have a very simple business relationship. Watch as I show you that." He gave her his signature devilish smirk before walking to Argit as he was muttering something about another deal in a few nights. After quickly absorbing enough of the metal from his car to cover his right arm, Kevin's fist slammed against the wall right beside Argit's head, making the rat-like alien jump.

"ARGIT! WHERES MY MONEY?" Kevin roared, his face blazing red.

"Your money, right! Umm, funny story, I left it in my other pants." Argit stuttered. He actually wore pants which was better than he could say for some of his illegal partners.

"So first you sell me out a few times and now you still haven't pay me my money yet!" Kevin said annoyed as he touched a wall and covering himself fully with it, the green armor from the car becoming enveloped in the gray of the new protection.

"Umm..." Argit said taking a large gulp of the garage's stinking oil filled air, scared.

"I'm giving you five seconds to run before I kick your scrawny little rat butt to China." Kevin snarled as Argit ran so fast he left a dust-cloud in the shape of his body.

Kevin then returned to normal as he turned to look back at Gwen with a hilariously cocky grin plastered to his lips. "See, I make a few deals with him, he tries to back-stab me and then I threaten him within a inch of his life. Gwen, its one of those circle of life things that you can't change." He leaned up against the wall, one combat clad foot supporting him as his arms folded across his strong chest. Kevin was clearly pleased with himself.

Gwen open her mouth but then closed it and shook her head, not knowing what to point out what was wrong in his logic as she just grabbed her smoothie and took a sip. There was no point in trying to tell Kevin what he was missing in this trading business.

* * *

**A/N: thank you so very much to Snake. I loved this one but I did put it off for awhile (sorry!) and now that it's up, I'm happy! Hope you like it and that it was a good enough for being slightly rewritten… review please!**

**~Sky**

**P.S. just thought i'd mention: when Snake sent this in, i questioned whether Argit actually wore pants...**


	18. Bacon Trauma

**A/N: I had bacon this morning.**

**Disclaimer: own bacon!**

* * *

He watched his mother as she slept peacefully. "Momma…" he whimpered, trying not to wake her, but also trying at the same time.

Guilt told him to stay quiet and let her sleep.

Hunger told him to wake her up ASAP.

"Momma…" he whined again, this time a bit louder, hunger possessing most of his thoughts.

"Kevie, what do you want?" his mother asked, rolling over so that she was looking at her small son who was standing in a Scooby Doo shirt and tugging on her blankets, trying to wake her up and trying not to at the same time. "Breakfast?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "Uh-huh!" He charged off with her blankets still clutching in his tiny fists.

She got up and shook her short black hair so that it wasn't as ruffled and frizzy. It had been straight last night, but look what happened when she went to bed with her hair wet. The woman stood and smoothed out the wrinkles in her clothes as Kevin kept trying to drag the blanket through the doorway when it was clearly caught between the mattress and the bed frame.

"Kevin," she sighed, pulling on it back so that she would put it back on her bed. She heard his small feet skidding to make a squeaking sound against the freshly polished hardwood floors. "Kevin, can you please let go?"

He did and stumbled forward a few paces before regaining his balance. "Momma, bacon!"

"Coming, sweetie," she laughed before slipping her feet into her slippers. She heard her son trying to get the things out of the refrigerator, which only got him whacked with the door of it and he usually fell over because of it, but she didn't hear the familiar sound of his head hitting something hard. "Hey, Devin," she said, leaning over to her husband. "I'm going to make Kevin some bacon."

"Me too," he mumbled, pulling blankets over his face, getting comfy beneath the warmth of the covers. "Me wants bacon." His accent made him sound like a gruff old man trying to sound like a small child. But of course, that was anything but Devin.

She leaned over and kissed him before she heard the crash of pans in the kitchen. Devin just gave a little moan and rolled over while his wife headed off to see what the heck their dark haired son had destroyed this time.

He was sitting on the ground, holding a pan high above his head while his thin arms shook beneath the weight of the cast iron skillet.

"Kevin!" cried his mother, immediately running over and taking it from him before he could drop it on his head. "Please don't do that, baby. You know you're going to get hurt if you touch heavy special cooking stuff."

The small boy smiled like nothing was wrong. For being four years old, he was sure a troublemaker. But an adorable one. " 'kay, Momma."

She put the skillet on the stove and pushed her son in the direction of the kitchen table so he would get the napkins out and hopefully figure out how to set the table in a decent amount of time. The woman grabbed the bacon from the fridge, took it out, put it in the skillet and fired up the flames so that it was heating the massive pan.

Her son was working on the napkins, unfolding each of them like a little place setting. That wasn't how it worked in the Levin household.

It was hard to explain to a four year old boy how it worked, but she just let him do it the way he wanted to.

Getting out a glass cup and reaching into the fridge to get the orange juice, the woman was unaware of her son.

Kevin had pulled himself up onto the counter with the help of a chair and stared into the pan of sizzling bacon. It looked so good. He just wanted to grab it and eat it… His small person instincts cut in. Kevin's small, pale hand darted into the pan and snatched the pieces of meat from the greasy skillet-

He screamed and fell off the counter, the burning sensation ripping up his arm and seeming to take over all his senses. His nerves convulsed and it was as if his skin was on fire and falling off his bones…

"KEVIN!" his mother screeched, racing to her son who was now on the clean hardwood floors, clutching his hand to his chest and screaming with tears streaking down his cheeks like racing bullets. "KEVIN, NEVER TOUCH A HOT PAN! NEVER!"

Instead of replying, Kevin whimpered and screamed some more. "BACON, MOMMA, BACON, BACON, BACON!"

"I KNOW THAT YOU WANT BACON, BUT YOU DON'T TOUCH A HOT PAN, KEVIE!" She grabbed his hands and looked at the burns. His fingers looked wrinkled and he writhed on the floor in pain when she touched the spots and let out a scream a few more times. "Devin!" she called, hoping he was awake enough to hear her.

He staggered out of their bedroom and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Kevin?" he asked. Devin, kneeling down beside his young son, took the small boy's hand. "Hey, what happened, bud?"

"Bacon!"

The woman with them shook her head. "He reached in the pan to grab it… his fingers are burned really bad…" She moved her son's hands to show her husband.

The injury was now turning bright red, bleeding occurring beneath the skin. Kevin screamed more. The burning was now sinking into his flesh, searing pain ripping through his system.

"Here," said Devin, the professional with burns in the house. With his powers and all, it made sense. He touched Kevin's hand softly and sent small sparks of electricity into his son, not strong enough to even be felt. "That'll numb his fingers long enough to stop his screaming and for us to get him patched up real good."

Kevin whimpered, looking up at his father and trying to wiggle his fingers, unsuccessfully. "FINGAS!" he yelled, the word coming out wrong and the 'er' turning into an 'a' sound. "THEY GONE!"

"I'll get the ice," announced the dark haired woman.

Devin pulled his son into a hug while Kevin kept on whimpering. "Bacon…"

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**A/N: needed to add more of the Bacon Trauma to this collection. Review!**

**~Sky**


	19. iPod Touch

**A/N: Kevin needs a moment now…. Time to think of one…. Got one….**

**Disclaimer: none dudes**

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"Gwen, my fingers are too big for fancy small lookin' electronic things." He tapped on the iPod Touch. His calloused fingers hit too many letters at once. He couldn't go online and talk to anyone on anything. He couldn't type anything.

"Kevin, focus on the small buttons and try to work with the part of your finger just under the nail." She took one of his hands and pointed to where she was talking about. "This part, Kevin."

He rested his head on the back of the seat and let out a long, agitated sigh. "Just keep holding my hand, Gwen," he sighed. "The world makes so much more sense when you're with me." Kevin looked over at her.

"Try again?" she asked, still holding his hand between hers and making an effort to rest her head on his shoulder even though the car's console kept her further away from him than she would have usually liked. She wanted to be curled up against his strong chest and listening to his heart thumping in his ribcage and listening to him breathe, in and out.

With another irritated sigh, Kevin looked at the small device again. "Okay, so what do you want me to do?"

"Try updating my Facebook status," said Gwen, trying to keep him encouraged. It wasn't easy. Kevin was stubborn and blatantly ticked off by this device that continued to outsmart him over and over again. "It's okay, Kevin."

He snorted angrily as he pressed the 'a' button when he tried to hit the shift key. "Gwen…" he whined.

"It's okay." She carefully pressed the backspace for him. "Keep trying."

Kevin was losing his patience. "Gwen, can't you just do it yourself?" He huffed a little. This was getting annoyed by this.

When he pressed the shift key again and then the letter 'a' and then it was strangely capitalized in the wrong spot in a sentence and he didn't like it, his face twisted up in anger. "Gwen, make it stop doing that!"

"Kevin, I can't!" She hugged his arm tightly, trying to make him feel more comforted.

She realized it didn't help at all when he hit the wrong button again and Kevin threw the iPod Touch out the windshield of the car, a giant hole now through the windshield and Gwen's new favorite iPod product was shattered in the middle of the parking lot.

All Kevin had to say for himself was "MY CAR!"

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**A/N: Kevin is so uncoordinated that it's funny. Gwen should've stopped when he got annoyed. Anyways, leave a review and don't forget to check out Kasta Evanson! Love my little sis… most of the time…**

**~Sky**


	20. Face Plant Into Bacon

**A/N: Oh. My. Gosh. I feel sooooo bad for Kevin with this one. But I randomly smiled when I was eating a few minutes ago and I was just dying with laughter and I nearly choked on my dinner. Thank you, Kevin, for nearly killing me. AGAIN**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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His mother had just laid bacon on his plate. Being five years old and somewhat smarter than most children at that age, Kevin knew that it was too hot to eat. He stared at the sizzling steam that rolled off of it.

He wanted to touch it.

He really, _really_ wanted to touch it and gobble it all down in a few bites.

Kevin just stared at the sizzling steam that rolled off of it.

That beautiful sizzling steam.

And he was starving. If there was one thing in the Levin household that almost everyone understood was that no one messed with Kevin when he was starving. Especially not smoking hot food.

Kevin had eaten smoking hot food more than once. And his tongue had been horribly burned more than once. And his fingers had been burned more than once.

Somehow, Kevin never learned that smoking hot food was the reason for his burned fingers and tongue and the serious pain that followed. And he really never got the reason why his tongue was so squishy when he poked it.

"Momma…"

"Don't. Touch. It. Kevin."

She was using her "I'm laying down the law" voice. And he didn't want to mess with her. "Freezer?" he offered, hoping that the cold place that his parents called the freezer would freeze the food enough so that he could eat it in a few seconds.

Mrs. Levin slowly turned around and looked at him.

His dark eyes were horribly pitiful as he stared at the plateful of bacon that was too hot to eat. And he'd finally figured out not to eat it right away when she put it on his plate. He looked up at her, lower lip quivering with that touch of pouting sadness that she always gave into. And she hated giving into Kevin.

"Alright."

Kevin jumped out of his seat and grabbed his plate. He carefully balanced it in his two hands on each side of the plate and started walking towards the freezer. He kept watching the steam and drank in the smell of sizzling bacon.

Kevin loved bacon more than he loved lightning.

Mrs. Levin watched her son very, very, _very_ carefully. He was danger prone beyond all other children that she knew. Especially when it came down to bacon. When bacon was involved, Kevin was in a danger zone or he was going to get hit with something or he was going to cry. And she hated not being able to help her son when he cried. "Careful."

He only replied with, "Freezer." Kevin put the plate on the table and tugged on the freezer's door. It flew open, nearly knocking the small boy into the countertop.

His mother flinched instinctively, going to help him until she realized he was fine. She let out a long sigh of relief.

Kevin turned and grabbed the plate and slowly pushed it onto one of the freezer's shelves. Then he pushed the door closed and leaned against it like the whole process had exhausted him.

Minutes later…

Kevin pulled open the freezer door again, this time smacking his head into the counter behind him.

Mrs. Levin flinched and waited for him to cry out.

It never came.

Kevin toughened up and was entirely oblivious to the pain, totally engulfed in the project at hand of getting his bacon from the freezer. He pulled the plate from the freezer and put it on the counter behind him. He turned and closed the door to the freezer behind him. Then he grabbed the plate once again.

Mrs. Levin let her guard down, finally able to relax. No danger of bacon today.

Kevin tripped over a nonexistent rock and did a face plant right into his plate of bacon. He started crying.

Devin came in only moments later, getting down to his knees to check on his son while his wife spend a few moments banging her head into the countertop for believing that bacon was safe for her son. "What's wrong?"

"I SPILLEDZ MY BACON AND IZ FROZEN AND I CAN'TZ EATZ IT!" he cried, tears spilling from his dark eyes.

What would they ever do with their son?

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**A/N: it was either a face plant into frozen bacon and him crying cuz it's frozen or him doing a face plant into steaming hot bacon and crying cuz its hurts like crazy. I took the first option because it leaves no scars except for emotionally. REVIEW!**

**~Sky**


	21. Sweet Onions

**A/N: another short one since I only have a little time on the laptop before I gotta go comfort someone who got punched/kicked/hit/etc.**

**Disclaimer: love Kevin Ethan Levin**

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Kevin stared at the vegetables on the display at the grocery store. He poked at the sweet onions. The dark teen blinked. He looked over to Gwen's list that was in his other hand. The only thing on his list: sweet onions.

Oh yes, Gwen was definitely paranoid.

He rolled his eyes and grabbed a ton of them before hauling them into the small basket.

Kevin hated shopping. He'd had a ton of shopping experience, courtesy of his girlfriend who was a moron. Who made an entire list just for sweet onions?

Oh right, the girl who knew he'd forget the only thing on the list and bought Twinkies instead, hoping that'd make up for everything. Because, well, who doesn't love Twinkies?

"Gwen," he sighed, putting the basket back where he found it, realizing he didn't actually need it now that he actually checked the list. And this time, he didn't forget it at a taco place like the last seven or eight times.

Kevin carried the bag of sweet onions over his shoulder and started heading for the checkout.

A list. Dedicated to sweet onions. Yes, Gwen was paranoid.

The checkout was practically totally full and he had one thing so the self-serve stupid ones would have to do. Kevin headed over in that direction, ignoring the extremely tempting cheese puffs that he passed on the way there. They definitely posed as a serious distraction.

He stared at the thing. It was long and very technological like. Kevin blinked a couple of times. He much rather would've gone to the stupid checkouts where actual people were there… to do the work for him.

Okay… Kevin analyzed the list. Nothing said sweet onions. Okay… what were sweet onions classified as? He stared at the bag.

This was going to be much harder than he had originally planned…

He turned around. No weird checkout person was standing around like they usually did so he couldn't just get one of 'em to do it for him…

Kevin looked. "Alright, not meat. Not in a box, so it's not scan-able." Kevin gave a short chuckle. "It sounds like cannibal, but not."

He stabbed at the last option: Produce. Whatever that was…

The fruits and vegetable options appeared. "Woah…" He looked at the bag in his hand. What were sweet onions? Fruits or vegetables?

He poked at them. He hated them both, but he had to guess vegetables… He stabbed the option on the screen.

A ton of other options showed up. He blinked. Alright, this officially sucked. He'd definitely, _definitely_ rather have taken the idea of going to a checkout counter now… Kevin looked at them. A ton of vegetables. Green stuff in log form, orange stick-like stuff, something that looked green and leafy, nothing that looked like onions…

WHY DIDN'T THIS STUFF HAVE ANYTHING THAT LOOKED LIKE ONIONS?

The worst part: Kevin didn't even like onions…

He stabbed at the next page. Lucky for him, it said onions. Now… sweet onions… He slammed his hand against the screen. WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THIS STUPID THING?

Kevin whacked it a couple more times before calming himself down enough to look at it and tap the onion option.

Annoyingly enough, MORE ONIONS SHOWED UP!

Kevin whacked it once again.

And again.

After blowing off a little more steam (more whacking), Kevin crumpled up the list and tossed it over his shoulder. "Alright you stupid thing, TAKE THIS!" Kevin whacked it a bunch more times.

An electronic voice showed up out of nowhere. "Choose your type."

"Red hair, green eyes-" he started before realizing that was definitely not what it meant. He tapped the sweet onion option in the bottom left corner.

It charged it to whatever card Gwen had given to him to charge it to. Kevin whacked it a little more. It was becoming fun.

The electronic voice came back in a creepier voice. "Move your sweet onions to the bag."

"FWHA?" He whacked it a lot more, amazed that it knew exactly what he had gotten and where he had gotten it from, hence the logo in the corner of the screen. Kevin hated the self-checkout. Kevin grabbed the onions and the bag and ran for his life, hoping that the stalker-like machine wouldn't follow him home.

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**A/N: kevin's an idiot, but it makes him special… anyways, thx to my cuzin and my aunt and a bunch of my crazed cousin's for screaming this most of the day… MOVE YOUR SWEET ONIONS TO THE BAG AND REVIEW!**

**~Sky**


	22. Vending Machine: Kevin

**A/N: do I need to write an A/N? no. do I? Yes.**

**Disclaimer: I have adopted the idea that one day, Man of Action will no longer exist courtesy of a crowd of angry Kevin fangirls and I will buy Ben 10 off eBay. But for now, own nothing.**

**

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**

Getting Ben in the vending machine hadn't been the hard part for Kevin. The hard part had been managing to snag the keys from the vending machine guy and then quietly getting through Ben's bedroom window to kidnap him in the middle of the night to shove him in the vending machine.

And writing a cute little note to his parents that he was at Mr. Smoothy for an early study session with Julie always made him fight back a snicker or two.

Snagging keys from vending machine guys involved taking out the important parts of the engine of his car. That distracted him and Kevin was home free to grab the keys off his belt and sneak away silently.

Fun didn't even describe the joy that bubbled up inside of him. He loved torturing Ben. He absolutely loved it.

In the middle of the night, Kevin sketched out that note in his best handwriting, getting it closely matching Ben. Then he grabbed his friend's foot and began to haul him towards the window. Because what good would it do to break a door?

Kevin dragged Ben by his foot (the brunette was a very heavy sleeper) all the way to the vending machine in the Mr. Smoothy parking lot.

He dropped Ben's foot as he checked his pockets for the keys. A few more seconds passed before he found the keys. He jabbed them into the lock and pulled open the door.

Ben snored and Kevin tried not to burst out laughing. It was just _too easy_ and absolutely _hilarious_! He leaned against the vending machine, trying to silence himself. And after a long while, he was quiet again. Kevin began to shove Ben into the vending machine.

And the next morning, walking past the vending machine, he saw Ben's drool dripping down the plastic pane that was keeping him pinned into place. And he doubled over laughing because Ben was still snoring, dead asleep in the vending machine.

Kevin couldn't wait to see his shocked face when he woke up.

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**A/N: it occurs to me now that Gwen totally could've been in on it the whole time… review please!**

**~Sky**


	23. Arrow Roulette

**A/N; okay, just saw the movie "Grown Ups" the other day and died laughing like a moron halfway through it. I highly suggest it if you're older than fourteen and have a very perverted mind because it's hilarious. that's what I get for hangin' with pervs. But oh well.**

**Disclaimer: idea is from "Grown Ups" and characters are Man Of Action's**

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"You guys ever seen a movie called 'Grown Ups'?" asked Kevin, coming up behind Gwen and Ben from hiding in the shadows of her house.

"Nope," replied both Tennysons.

"Good," snickered Kevin. "Ben doesn't have the maturity for it and Gwen doesn't need to see it." He pulled the bow and arrow up so they could see it. "Now who wants to play a game I learned from the movie?"

Ben immediately raised his hand like a little kid and started bouncing up and down. Gwen sighed and got up from the couch, giving into Kevin and his bow and arrow game, knowing very well it'd be dangerous and fun at the same time. Mostly fun because she'd get to see Kevin smiling more. Dangerous: there was a bow and arrow. What else could she expect?

So a very delighted Kevin started bouncing around the room and ran out the front door.

"What turned Kevin into a happy munchkin?" asked Ben, shrugging on his jacket.

"The bow and arrow," snorted Gwen, setting down her book on the coffee table before heading outside. "He likes dangerous pointy things."

"Ah…"

Outside, Kevin was holding the bow and arrow, pointing it towards the sky. "ARROW ROULETTE!" He released the arrow.

Ben and Gwen stared at the sky.

"Okay, point of the game: don't get hit by the arrow because I dunno where I shot it and be the closest to it when it falls." Without another word, Kevin started running over towards the trees on the side of Gwen's house, hoping the branches would shield him from falling arrows while he laughed maniacally.

Ben and Gwen instantly scattered, each of them covering their heads and running frantically to try and escape the arrow's wrath.

Kevin kept his crazy laugh going the whole time.

Gwen suddenly stopped. "What am I thinking?" she asked herself with a sigh. She put a mana shield over her head and walked back towards where Kevin had shot the arrow from. She looked over at him and he had fallen to his knees laughing so hard.

Her emerald eyes searched for her cousin and she finally spotted his green jacket-

On her roof.

"I'M GONNA WIN!" he yelled with an evil laugh.

Odds were good that he was going to be hit by the arrow instead of being close to it.

There was the sudden whizzing sound of the arrow coming through the air then the splintering sound of wood.

"BEN!"

"I WIN! I WIN!" he screeched with maniacal laughter as he danced on top of Gwen's roof, standing beside the arrow that had splintered right through the roof above her bedroom window.

"THERE'S AN ARROW IN MY ROOF!" yelled Gwen.

Ben's maniacal laughter continued, now louder.

Kevin was breathing hard, trying to get some air in his lungs so he didn't pass out. It was too funny. He probably should've mentioned that he had horrible aim too.

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**A/N: oh you know you love it! Anyways, go see the movie. HYSTERICAL! Review**

**~Sky**


	24. Straightjacket

**A/N: been working hard to keep it funny. Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: don't make me say it**

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Kevin looked at his present from Ben and Cooper. Ben had spent his allowance on smoothies and Cooper had bought... who knows what. So the two had pooled together what little money they had in a pathetic attempt to get something halfway decent. And what had they come up with?

A straightjacket.

Ben smiled. "You know," he said, "just in case you might need it."

Kevin stared at him and looked over to Gwen who had actually saved up her money for his gift (a pair of silver dog tags with his father's name on them since Plumbers didn't do the same thing as the stuff on Earth so it just made sense). The redhead just stared at Cooper and Ben before slapping her palm to her forehead.

"For who?" asked Kevin, a slightly devilish smirk on his face as he looked back at Ben.

"Oh, you know, people. Who aren't me." Ben added the last part as his face was overcome with horror at what Kevin was implementing.

Kevin rose to his feet, picking up the straightjacket in one hand while the other gestured for Ben to come closer. "Who aren't you?" he retorted. "It sounds like your practically begging me to put this on and drop you off in the middle of the Mr. Smoothy parking lot."

Ben got up and started backing away. "Kevin, I'm serious, don't you dare."

Gwen smiled and put her hand under her chin to watch the showdown unfold. "Ben, you definitely avoid tempting Kevin with this sort of stuff and you pretty much just threw yourself out there."

"I DIDN'T MEAN TO!" he yelled, scrambling behind toolboxes to try and put some distance between himself and the half Osmosian teen. "KEVIN, PLEASE DON'T"

Cooper was doubled over, laughing so hard he felt like he would die any second.

Kevin managed to corner Ben against a wall and before the brunette could reach the Ultimatrix, Kevin had already grabbed his wrist and began to shove his arm into the straightjacket's sleeve.

Five minutes later, Ben found himself stranded in the middle of the Mr. Smoothy parking lot in the white straightjacket and standing beside Cooper. The pudgy blonde was also in the straightjacket. Kevin had tied them together in the same one, leaving them both helpless to save themselves or each other.

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**A/N: hehehe… torturing Ben is fun, but when Cooper's in on it, it's twice as fun. Please don't forget to review!**

**~Sky**


	25. Hamburger Buns

**A/N: this is my dad yesterday when we were making lunch…**

**Disclaimer: none**

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Kevin stalked over to the cabinets where his mother usually kept the bread and the hotdog buns and the hamburger buns. He was hoping to find one of the hamburger buns. He was hungry and a hamburger sounded good. So he had to find a bun for it. Because he liked hamburgers on buns.

He dug around the cabinets. Every few seconds he would repeat, "Please let there be a bun. Please let there be a bun." His eyes narrowed in the darkness of the cabinet for any sign of a hamburger bun.

It was about lunchtime. Kevin was hungry. It was crazy that he couldn't find a hamburger bun in the whole house. The back of the cabinet was his last and final resort.

He shut the cabinet, still repeating the same phrase. "Please let there be a bun. Please let there be a bun." He closed his eyes and made a little wish. He crossed his fingers and clicked his heels together like Dorothy from "The Wizard of Oz". It was better to hope and wish than to just go scavenging for other food. He wanted a hamburger. Really bad.

Kevin opened it back up and dug in the furthest, deepest, darkest pits of the cabinet. His fingers came across a plastic bag. He smiled and made another wish for it to be a hamburger bun before pulling it out slowly and deliberately.

His fist pumped into the air. "I WIN!" He had found some hamburger buns to keep him satisfied for the next few hours of lunchtime. He looked at the buns.

Step Two:

"Please don't let there be mold on it. Please don't let there be mold on it."

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**A/N: hehehe… luv ya all for readin'! luv ya more for reviewin'! Vote on my poll!**

**~Sky**


	26. The Street Sign

**A/N: one of my fave facebook flairs… WE'RE MAKING A COOPER MII!**

**Disclaimer: own nothing. Sorry. I'm working to get to McDuffie though. Maybe I can get a job with him and GWEVIN WILL BE BETTER! MUAHAHAHAHA!**

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Kevin drove along, Ben in the passenger seat. His jade eyes watched each street sign fly past at an alarming speed. But he didn't care. He was too busy looking for a specific one…

The pedal was pushed all the way down to the floor of the car beneath Kevin's combat boot clad foot. He was letting the car rush to the limits of the horsepower, speeding it as fast as he could towards the one place that he and Ben were so desperately looking for…

The cars on the other side of the street were flying past at about a quarter of the speed that the two teens were going at in the green and black racing striped Camaro.

"Where is it?" whined Ben, sounding more like a little girl instead of a sixteen-year-old intergalactic hero. "You said it would be here!"

"It is," said Kevin tersely. "We're getting there as fast as I can take us."

And a yellow sign came up.

As fast as he could, Kevin slammed on the breaks and spun the car towards the left side of the road so that it'd slow down instead of rolling faster down the street. He grimaced as the car didn't stop right away. The brakes and tires squealed against the red-hot black pavement.

Ben was immediately out of the car as soon as it was slow enough for him to jump out without being severely injured. He stumbled a few feet before reclaiming his balance. Then he ran back towards the sign that they had just passed.

Kevin had pocketed the keys before running off after Ben, hoping no one would steal his car while he wasn't in it. He saw Ben staring at the sign for a long time, jaw dropped and eyes wide.

"What?" asked Kevin, turning to look at the sign as well. His reaction was the same as Ben's: eyes wide and jaw dropped.

The sign read:

UNIVERSE CLOSED  
USE RAINBOW

"How could they do that?" yelled Kevin. "What if it's not raining?"

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**A/N: hehe…. R&R!**

**~Sky**


	27. Love Thy Neighbor

****

A/N; Kevin just needed a quick moment. Sorry, but this is a bit religious. Just ignore it. Haha. I just couldn't help the hilarity.

**Disclaimer: own nothing.**

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**_Love Thy Neighbor_**

Kevin went up to God one day and asked, "God, what happens if I don't love my neighbor?"

And God replied, "You go to Hell."

"Crap." Kevin snapped his fingers. "What if my neighbor is Ben?"

"Love thy neighbor."

Kevin's eyes glazed over as he thought for a moment. "What about Michael Jackson?"

"You'd have to be dead to be his neighbor."

His face twisted into a scowl. "What about Lindsay Lohan?"

"You'd have to be in the prison cell next to her to be her neighbor," replied God calmly.

The dark teen was getting frustrated with this. "What about the Jonas Brothers?"

"You'd be living next door to virgins. How could you not love them?" commented God, voice never wavering from the angelic tone.

Kevin cursed under his breath. God didn't acknowledge it.

"What about Sammy Sosa?"

"Love thy neighbor."

"Aw come on! Who can I not love as a neighbor? I really don't want to go to Hell when my girlfriend's gonna be an angel!"

God pondered over this for a long moment, eyes thoughtful as he stared at the clouds above his head. And finally, a reply came.

"Kim Kardashian."

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**A/N: hahahaha! I couldn't help it! it was too funny! I'm sorry! check out my page for the latest updates and the new poll! HAHAHAHA! REVIEW!**

**~Sky**


	28. Pier Turtle

**A/N: heyla all, Skylark here with another update and stuffz. Lol. So on Saturday I got to dress up like a giant bear and I just remembered I had this thing saved from waaaaaayyyy back on that vacation in Key West…. Saved it just for you guys**

**Disclaimer: not MOA. Not an owner of Ben 10. But you know that I wish.**

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Kevin stared blankly at his phone's screen, begging silently that Benji would pick up sometime in the next five seconds. "Come on…"

"Heyla, this is Benjamin Kirby Tennyson at you're service. I can't come to the phone right now because of moi being the savior of the universe and having to kick some alien butt to keep you safe. Call back later when I'm not so busy and- SUMO SLAMMERS!"

Kevin slapped the phone, hanging up on Ben's answering machine that was now screaming like a fangirl in his ear. He dialed again. "Gwen?" he asked as she picked up her phone.

"Kev," she mumbled into the phone's receiver, "I love you and all, but it's a weekend and I'm trying to sleep. Can you call back in like forty minutes?" The line went dead.

Someone banged on the portapotty door that Kevin was hiding in, making him scream in panic and then he yelled, "Yo, dude, I'm busy in here!"

"Kevin, open up. I know you need me but I dropped my phone in the toilet so I couldn't pick up the last four times, but I could see that you called 'cause your name came up on the caller ID when it was in the toilet so I just tracked your badge using the Ultimatrix and all that stuffs." Ben tried to pull open the door. "You gonna let me in so I can help with whatever."

Kevin's face flushed red and he barred the door with his body. "No. Go look under the pier for a giant turtle head. That's how you can help me."

Ben banged on the door again. "What are you talking about, Kevin?"

"Get the turtle head."

"Why do you have a turtle head?" asked Ben as he rolled his eyes and began stalking away. "The only turtle head I can think of is…" He paused and spun, immediately facing the portapotty's door and burst out laughing, falling to the ground, getting strange stares from the people around him that were just walking around. "Kev… Kevin, that's hysterical!"

Kevin felt like sticking his head out the door and yelling at Ben, but he couldn't be seen without the head on. "Ben, just go get it."

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE THE PIER TURTLE!"

The pier turtle was a long legacy at the pier. The turtle was just a giant turtle that got paid high for just walking around and waving to everyone and being silent in a costume for hours a day. That's all it was. But the rule was that the wearer couldn't be seen with one body part on and the others not. Hence why Kevin was hiding in the portapot because the head had fallen in the water below the pier when he was trying to see how far he could spit.

"Tennyson, it was for the money!"

Ben didn't hear him as he cackled with incessant laughter.

"Ben, get the head!"

Managing to haul himself to his feet was the hardest part. Ben grabbed the rail to get up. He pulled himself up and managed to get to the edge of the pier and stare down at the water to see the giant turtle's head staring up at him with a dumb smile creeping across the face of it. He tried not to laugh anymore. Instead, he exploded in a fit of giggles, toppling over the edge of the pier and flying straight into the water with a massive splash of epic proportions.

Kevin could hear it from inside the portapotty. "Benji… I oughta kill you…" He began to pull off the rest of the costume so that he could go outside and get Ben out of the water and grab the head and get everything back in order so he didn't get fired or anything crazy.

He managed to get it off and then shoved it in the back of the portapotty, glad to be just in his normal clothes again. He was grateful that the costume allowed him to be wearing his own clothes under it without being too cramped in it.

He got over to the rail and stared down into the water. Ben flailed while choking on water as he laughed his guts out.

Kevin huffed in disgust. Then heard someone clear their throat behind him. "Levin," came a harsh and cold tone that Kevin distinctly remembered as his boss's gruff voice. "Can I safely assume that you know you're fired for leaving the costume in the portable toilet?" he snarled.

"Yup," breathed Kevin, glad to have at least gotten one paycheck so that he could buy Gwen a nice present for her birthday. "So I'll just fish my friend out of the water and then I'll be gone." He looked back at his boss with a sheepish smile before vaulting over the rail to grab Ben and run for the hills.

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**A/N: haha. Costumes suck… anyways, review. thankszz**

**~Sky**


	29. The Boss

**A/N: decided that Kevin needed a little moment today since he saved my soul and won me a bag of candy with his magical number of ELEVEN! Yup, that's mah boy, y'all.**

**Disclaimer: don't own nothing, foo.**

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**

"So what do you plan on doing with your life?" asked Frank Tennyson as he sat in the living room of his own house with his red-haired daughter's boyfriend sitting across from him in a chair, looking comfortable and easily nonchalant in the somewhat tense atmosphere.

"Becoming 'The Boss'."

Kevin's reply was so cool, so calm, so collected, that Frank had to do a quick retake. "What?"

"Becoming 'The Boss'," repeated Kevin with a quirky smile upon his lips.

The Tennyson had to do a retake again. He shook his head and blinked repeatedly, letting those words soak in as Kevin drank some of the lemonade Lily had brought him. "And how do you plan on doing that?"

"So far," began Kevin, leaning forward as if this were some sort of secret plan that could be overheard by people of the wrong kind, "the plan consists of shooting fire out of my hands, but that's about it for now. The rest of it is still in the works and all. I got a guy drawing up the plans and everything."

Again, Frank stared at this dark teen. What did his daughter see in him? "What are you talking about?" asked Frank, wanting to know where this boy was going with all of these plans.

"Actually, now that I consider it, I'm not sure how well shooting fire out of my hands will work. I mean, I'm an Osmosian, not a Pyronite or anything… I'll have to get my guy to come up with something really, really logical…"

"How about you just attach a flamethrower to your hand?" joked Frank, seeing that this was all just some kind of misunderstanding and that it all had a deeper meaning that Kevin wasn't letting on to yet. He smiled and figured he could just play along with it to keep Kevin pleased.

"That would totally work!" he said, enthusiasm lighting up his usually stone cold features as Frank's face fell only a moment later. "I'll have to remember to tell my guy about that later. Ben could totally hook me up with a flamethrower!" He began to reach for his pocket to grab his phone.

Frank's jaw had dropped.

"Kevin!" said Gwen, coming down the stairs with a jacket over one arm. "That is not your plan. A flamethrower on your hand would be dangerous! What if you burned off your fingers?" She stormed over to her boyfriend, eyes glowing with a blaze of rage as she glared at him. "It's safer that you stick with what you have. Boys shouldn't play with fire."

He gave in with a soft smile and touched his lips to hers for a faint moment before glancing back to his girlfriend's father. "Bye, Mr. Tennyson. Nice talking with you."

Frank just nodded absently as the two disappeared out the front door, his jaw still dropped and his eyes still wide with the shock of the boy's clear inability to think correctly.

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**A/N: haha. Kevin is 'The Boss'. So he'd want you to review. Do so or he will take his flamethrower to your face. Lolz. Jk. But review please!**

**~Sky**


	30. Shirtless

**A/N: Greg Cipes was just on 'The Middle'. I knew it was him. He had his Beast Boy voice goin' and my head just whipped to the tv and I saw his long blonde hair and his funky smile… wow.**

**Disclaimer: sorry, but I don't own anything Ben 10-ish.**

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Gwen pushed open the door to the garage from within the Levin house.

"Hey, Ke-"

"HEY! I'M SHIRTLESS!" He immediately pulled his arms over his chest and turned.

"It's me," she breathed, knowing it was fine for her to see him shirtless whether he liked it or not.

"Oh…" He looked at her with his soft sheepish smile and big fawn-like obsidian eyes. "Hi, Gwen."

The redhead slapped her forehead, but couldn't help the smile that crawled across her face as her boyfriend moved towards her, still shirtless and tucked his arms around her waist before their lips touched so softly.

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**A/N: hehe. Romance is cute. So is Kevin. Review!**

**~Sky**


	31. BrainFart

**A/N: I love this one. Really turned out well I think. This one is from the 200****th**** reviewer, Lioness200! This oughta be real good…**

**Disclaimer: own nothing at all and you know it.**

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Kevin stared at the cup in his hand. The one that Ben had just given him. The brunette stood eagerly beside the dark teen with a quirky smile playing across his lips. "Come on, Kevin. Drink it. You know you want to. You're just dying to drink it."

"Nope," he replied coolly. "Not really, Tennyson."

"You have to!" squealed Ben. "We had a deal!"

"Did we shake on it?" commented Kevin, raising an eyebrow as he narrowed his obsidian gaze at Ben's small, scrawny body with the crestfallen face on it.

The brunette shook his head sadly and eyed the dark teen with a twinge of anger in his jade eyes. "Noooooo..."

"Where I come from, shaking on it makes it a deal." Kevin tossed the cup over his shoulder, uncaring as he leaned against the hood of the car. He already knew the cup had gone over the roof and cleared the trunk before practically exploding as it hit the ground.

Ben made a "PFFT!" sound and smirked before folding his arms tightly across his chest. "And where would that be, Levin? Canada?"

"Canada has good bacon," said Kevin, suppressing a shudder. He'd had Canadian bacon a few too many times and bad experiences usually came along with the stuff. "But I actually learned that..."

Ben stared as Kevin's jaw went slack and his eyes went wide. "What?" asked the younger.

"I can't remember what it's freaking called..."

Ben burst out laughing, smoothie spraying out of his nose and all over the hood of the car. The brunette held his stomach, his guts instantly hurting as he looked at Kevin's lost and shocked expression.

Kevin stuttered for the longest time, stumbling over little words as he stood there. "I... I ca-can't remember..."

Ben was hooting with laughter, absolutely cracking up over the dark teen's brain-fart.

"No! No, I know this one!" Kevin snapped his fingers a bit, trying to put a name to the image he had in his head. He knew the name. It was on the tip of his tongue! How could he forget it?

"Ke-" Ben had to hold himself up with on hand planted on the hood of the green and black striped Camaro. "Kevin, so you mean the-"

"DON'T TELL ME!" insisted Kevin, whacking Ben upside the head. "I CAN FIGURE STUFF OUT ON MY OWN!"

"The- the-" spluttered Ben, nearly falling over with the giggle attack that had overwhelmed him.

"I GOT IT!" Kevin banged a fist on the car's hood, leaving a hand-sized dent in it. He smirked and folded his arms across his chest victoriously once again, a glimmer of brilliance in his dark eyes. "The Null Void."

"Kevin, you're a moron," snickered Ben just before the older teen pushed him down and threatened to run him over with the car.

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**A/N: I love Kevin. Thanks to Lioness002 for sending this in! review it!**

**~Sky**


	32. Flyswatter

**A/N: requested by Tyson G!**

**Disclaimer: I am only a mere writer for Ben 10. Do not own it in any way.**

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"Gwen!" screeched Ben from the backseat of Kevin's car after a burst of green light came from the backseat. "Guess who I just unlocked!"

By the smell, the red-haired Tennyson already knew. "Oh god, I hate Stinkfly!" She was immediately rushing out of the car and into the Mr. Smoothy parking lot, hoping the stench didn't make her sick. She'd seen enough of Stinkfly in her lifetime to want to never want to see him again.

"Even _I_ remember that one," laughed Kevin, the stench overwhelming him and making him get out of the car too. He let Ben out before slamming the door behind him.

Ben let his old alien form flit about the sky. "I missed this one!"

"I sure didn't," hissed Gwen, coughing at the reek that came off of her cousin.

"Don't stink up the car," reminded Kevin, heading off in the direction of the nearby Burger Shack to grab himself a soda.

Ten minutes later, he came back with a cup in one hand. He looked at his beloved car.

The green and black striped vehicle was covered in slime. And Kevin's jaw dropped and the blue and yellow cup fell from his hands. "TENNYSON, YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!"

Ben, still transformed into Stinkfly, was flitting around in the sky. "Kev, it's not what it looks like," came the massive insect's voice. "I was trying to see if I could slime Gwen as well as I used to be able to and she kinda moved and your car was in the way…"

Kevin was already to furious to stop himself. He threw himself at the car and let the metal coat his body in a single thick sheet. Then, using the car's hood as something similar to a launch pad, he morphed his hand into a massive sheet-like form that resembled a flyswatter and leapt a solid ten feet in the air, hovering just above Ben in his Stinkfly body for a few moments.

"You're dead."

And Kevin crashed his arm's long weapon down on the massive, stinking bug and smushed him into the ground with his cold brute force.

"Kevin, that was totally unnecessary," scolded Gwen, looking at her cousin's mutilated body as Kevin pulled his extended weapon off the sixteen-year-old.

A smirk crawled across the dark teen's face as he wrapped one arm around his girlfriend's slender waist and the armor faded from his rough skin. "But he tried to slime you. I was only protecting my woman."

"You…" Her emerald eyes narrowed, but she was once more quickly caught up in his charm as Ben finally got around to feeling his wings and legs again.

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**A/N: hehe. Kevin's Rule #1: Don't touch the car. Skylark's Rule #1: Review!**

**~Sky**


	33. Spelling 'Love'

**A/N: this just came to mind while I was reading through some other stuff. Hope it's funny enough.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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Gwen had wanted to say it for such a long time now. But Kevin had said a million times "Don't push me". And she didn't want to. She wanted to hear it from him. She wanted to hear him say those three little words so badly that she could taste it.

But she didn't tell him that she wanted him to say it. She wanted to have him say it for himself. She didn't want to push him. It just kind of came.

And she hated bothering him about their relationship. Because on the turn of a dime, they would go from together, to split up, to madly in love, to hating each other. It was the endless cycle of their everlasting romance.

It drove Gwen to the point of insanity.

"Kevin, I really like you," she told him one day.

"I really like you too," he replied, touching his lips to hers in a gentle kiss.

"I really, really like you," she breathed, curling her body into his chest and waiting for him to say the other 'L' word.

"I like you more," he countered, taking it as a challenge.

Gwen shoved him away. "GOD, KEVIN WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

"I DIDN'T EAT THE LAST BROWNIE, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE THINKING!" he defended, putting his hands up as if the cops had just caught him stealing a corndog from a trashcan.

The redhead just shook her head. "Kevin, no. You're hopeless-" His face fell. "-and I totally respect that, but you can't even say that you love me."

"Love is a big word," he told her, eyes now wide with fear that he would get into something he couldn't get out of.

"No, it's not, Kevin," began Gwen desperately. "It's just like any other word, but it means more. I just want to hear you say it. I want to know that you love me the way I love you."

Kevin shook his head, and replied, "No, Gwen, I mean it's literally a big word. I don't wanna say a word that big."

"IT HAS THE SAME AMOUNT OF LETTERS AS 'LIKE' DOES!"

"DON'T LIE TO ME! I'M NOT AN IDIOT!"

Gwen put her palm to her forehead, giving up with her impossible boyfriend.

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**A/N: I'm hoping you got as many laughs out of this as I did. Please review. Thank you for reading.**

**~Sky**


	34. Defense Mechanisms

**A/N: wow. Tonight's episode was just… I mean, that was harsh. Kind of cold there at the end… very powerful. Scared me. It did.**

**Disclaimer: I own no part of Ben 10.**

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He had defense mechanisms. They were what he loved, what he used. They were all he had to take care of himself in the world.

Defense was an instinct; it was natural for someone like him to push things away, guarding every inner thought and inner pain for something more. He had to keep himself protected from the pain that he knew would come. He had to keep himself safe. From anything and everything.

"Whatever."

His natural response to what he didn't want to hear. It was what he used to get out of a conversation. It was what he had when he needed when he couldn't get someone to drop the subject.

The world always remained hidden on his tongue to ward off anyone who managed to get to close to his break point or his inner walls and shields.

No one had managed to get within them yet. No one.

"I don't care."

To push away anyone who knew of his pain or at least who was coming close, he used those three little words. To show that he had no emotions, had no fear, had nothing more than the slightest of thoughts. He passed as an idiot to keep himself safe.

Protection was what he needed. It was his safety, his comfort. He liked having something to block out everything else with. It was his shelter, his safe haven. Saying what he thought was dangerous. If his thoughts got out, no one would dare look his way or trust him again.

His life was dangerous. His life was Hell. His life was everything that he hadn't wanted it to turn out to be.

Just hoping for a decent life had jinxed it.

Something about the Tennysons had changed him, made him put down his guard for a while. It had made him become human. Or at least it had made him seem more human.

He had transformed from a monster to someone with emotions. He had become someone with some potential and some hope and a little bit of kindness blossoming in his soul. He had become a changed man.

"I love you."

Those were the three words that had let Gwen in past Kevin's defense mechanisms.

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**A/N: I just needed an emotional shot with tonight's episode. Short, but I think it got the point across. Please review.**

**~Sky**


	35. Soulja Boy

**A/N: well I'm working out some stuff and I needed some Kevin humor since I can only do Gwen angst lately. Let's get this rockin'.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Sorry.**

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Gwen rounded the corner, the garage in sight. Kevin had said he was going to pick her up from karate. He had offered. Why would she refuse?

But then he didn't come. So she had to pick up a ride with Ben. And that was weird. She hated having to call her cousin for favors. He actually wanted then returned, unlike her boyfriend. Kevin just did things because they were together; he never asked a single favor.

Music was blaring from the garage, practically blowing out the redhead's eardrums. They were already ringing when she was within about ten yards of the building. And the massive garage door was closed. She couldn't imagine how loud it was inside.

But Gwen easily recognized the music that was echoing through the walls. It touched her ears and brought a bright, wide smile to her desolate features.

Soulja Boy. She hadn't heard that song in years now. And she used to love it. It still held the spot as the most played song on her iPod. None of her current favorites had yet outshone its high rank of two thousand eight hundred and nineteen plays.

The girl kept her grin on as she stared through one of the slits in the garage's panels. They let air into the massive warehouse-like space. And her eyes found Kevin.

Of course, he was dancing to it. Back when it was popular, if you didn't know the dance, your popularity was utterly screwed for the rest of your life. Gwen had to admit, he wasn't doing a half bad job at it.

Actually, he was doing it better than she could. And she knew the whole thing by heart.

When his back was turned to her for a few seconds, she slipped into the garage through the side door. She smiled and folded her arms across her chest.

Kevin turned back and blinked at his girlfriend in total horror; he clapped and the music shut off. It was like one of those clapping lamp things. He had always liked those. "I was supposed to pick you up, wasn't I?" he asked weakly, knowing this was the third time he had screwed up this week.

Gwen just nodded.

A silence ensued.

"So you know the Soulja Boy?" asked Gwen, still smiling evilly. Her emerald eyes glittered. She would get something out of this. Whether Kevin liked it or not.

He nodded, running his calloused fingers through his raven-colored locks. "You won't tell Ben, will you?"

"Ben knows it too," said the girl with the auburn hair. "I taught it to him." She looked over her boyfriend real fast, a grin still plastered across her face, making her look somewhat like the Joker. "Don't worry."

Kevin let out a quiet breath of relief.

"Come on." She stood there, arms unfolding. "Start up the music. You can't dance alone in here forever."

He opened his mouth to protest, but Gwen had already clapped and the music was blaring again, leaving behind the real world and sucking then into the realm of drowning sound and Superman.

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**A/N: I honestly never learned how to do the Soulja Boy. Pathetic, right? Anyways, review.**

**~Sky**


	36. YOU'RE A MORON

**A/N: Ah, bbop11rocks just texted me a reminder for this. I keep on forgetting about this one, so before I forget again, here's another MOMENT OF KEVIN! Yes, you're allowed to scream like a fangirl ^.^**

**Note: Younger Kevin (yeah, put on your happy faces…)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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It had already been a long car ride. Kevin was bored senseless. With the radio dead (for the third time that week), he couldn't even entertain himself with some music. And he had already fried about twenty of his favorite video games and such. So he was bored. And books weren't exactly his favorite things in the world…

He was so sick of it. He hated watching signs fly by. He hated not being able to do anything worthwhile as he sat there. It was all just stupid. So freaking stupid.

So singing was nice. Despite the fact that it drove his mother insane.

"F is for friends who do stuff together," he began, recalling it from years of watching Spongebob. "U is for you and me-"

"Kevin, what are you spelling?" asked his mother, lifting her eyes from the traffic to the rearview mirror to eye her ebony-haired son.

"Fun," he said, grinning like a mad man. "What did you think I was spelling?"

His mother shifted her eyes back to the bumper-to-bumper traffic. She wasn't about to give her son any ideas on what to spell... "Nothing…"

And Kevin kept on singing, his mind bored with everything around him. He really had nothing better to do. He was so sick of being stuck with one thing and just having to stare out the window for a few hours… Even the license plate game had grown tiresome.

"Mr. Sun came up and he smiled at me, he said "It's gonna be a great day, just wait and see-"

"YOU'RE A MORON!" his mother howled, slamming her fist down on the horn of the car.

The small boy cringed in the backseat, cowering against the fabric and really hoping his singing hadn't made her that mad. He didn't want to be grounded _again_.

The woman's eyes lifted to see her son's eyes wide and fearful. "Oh, Kevie, I didn't mean you. I meant this moron in front of us who doesn't know how to drive a car."

Kevin still stared at her, eyes wide with sheer horror.

"I'm sorry for scaring you, baby," she breathed. "It's fine. I'm not mad at you."

He let out a quiet sigh of relief before staring out the window for a few more minutes. And then singing again. "Mr. Sun came up and he smiled at me-"

The woman wished she had gotten him to shut up. She loved her son, but really, he was irritating whenever it was a horribly long car ride…

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**A/N: I wanted this to be longer, but I couldn't come up with anything more. He's awesome. Haha. Review please?**

**~Sky**


	37. Look At This Guy

**A/N: Alright, this was my dad last night and I had to write it down. Too funny to miss, I tell you… Based in future.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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Gwen had turned on 'House Hunters International' right before falling asleep on the couch. Kevin, bored after having his second son take away his laptop, began commenting on the man on screen, Eliza and Devlin sitting beside him.

The man on the screen had a British accent and Kevin mocked it almost perfectly. "I have man boobs," he said, finding every flaw on the screen. "And I have no eyebrows."

Devlin and Eliza were giggling like small children. Well, they were small children so that explained that.

"I must've done something wrong as a child. God didn't like me. He made my hands all ugly and he makes me waddle. I can't even walk right."

Devlin was practically doubled over in hilarity.

"I think I'll wear my man capris. And I'm so fat that I can't even fit in this bed. The camouflage makes my butt look bigger."

The man on the screen was constantly wearing black.

"I wear black to hide my man boobs and I walk like a duck 'cause I waddle waddle waddle. And all the white stripes I wear make me look like one of those morons from 'Tron'."

Eliza's chest was hurting from the laughing.

A commercial came up, but first came scenes. And the man was then wearing cream.

"The cream highlights my man boobs. And my wife looks like she got attacked by a vampire. And I have ugly shoes, did I mention that? And my feet are big enough for Bigfoot. I may be perfect for Bigfoot. That would be good."

Eliza had already fallen off the couch...

"And I have no hair. And no eyebrows. By my arms are really hairy. Me and Bigfoot, I tell you."

Devlin joined his sister on the floor, bursting into hysterics.

"And I get to wear more man capris. I'm lucky it's not cold out, my poor man boobs. And I have a frumpy wife who looks like she was dragged back from the dead!"

Gwen was awake enough to blink one eye open at the sound of her children practically screaming for their father to stop talking. "Kevin!"

He just picked up his beer off the side table. "You didn't miss anything, Gwen. Just this guy's man boobs." He took a swig from his glass. "God just wasn't kind to him. He did something wrong as a kid, I tell you..."

And the two kids just kept on laughing and crying for him to stop before they hurt themselves.

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**A/N: Just picture this guy… Yeah, he was a sight. So review. Thanks!**

**~Sky**


	38. Bacon Milkshake

**A/N: Okay, got this from reading "AntiSmoothie" which is a chapter in 'Car Arguments'. Read it first. Get it? Then come back here. Good.**

**As a side note, I love AnonymousNavi right now. Punch her username into deviantArt and see what comes up. Be amazed. I swear, it's amazing. Do it. Just know which one you click on. It looks almost like a comic strip. It's incredible. Again, thanks to her! I love it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything at all. Don't argue.**

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"Kevin, you know this is a bad idea, right?" asked the young boy's father as he sat in a chair while his young raven-haired son shuffled around the kitchen with the little footstool he was carrying around to stand on to reach the counter and such. "It's not right. Bacon is not meant to go in a blender."

"No." That was his current word. For being about three years old, he was hooked on it. His mother always told him no and he was sick of it. So he had started saying it back and it had become something short of an addiction. He liked saying no to people.

"Kev…" warned Devin as he watched his young son just keep moving about the kitchen, not even faltering as his father advised against his current task.

The small boy's head turned to eye his father almost angrily. "Bacon milkshake!" he said before putting the slices of bacon he had pulled out of the package into the microwave. His tiny, pudgy hand closed the door and clicked the numbers that sounded with a low _beep!_ sound with each one he pressed.

"Kevin," breathed Devin, trying to decide whether to sit back and watch his son as a supervisor, intervene with the situation, or just to laugh. "This really is _not_ a good idea."

"Bacon milkshake!" Kevin wasn't about to back down. He watched as the microwave whirred and cooked his bacon. The small boy sat on the stool for a long moment to watch it before giving up out of boredom and taking his stool to go turn on some music.

Devin kept watching the boy. He hoped his son wouldn't do anything crazy. He didn't want the house to blow up again. He twiddled his fingers for a long time before he heard some music kick on. It was old music, the stuff only he and his wife listened to, but when he looked up, Kevin wasn't changing it and he was just heading right back over to the microwave as it counted down on the last minute of cooking.

When it did buzz, signaling the microwave had gone off, Kevin was up and taking out the bacon and putting it on another counter while eyeing the cabinet that his parents kept the blender in. His deep brown eyes focused on that cabinet as the bacon plate was placed on the other counter and he was pushing his way towards the cabinet.

"Really, darling, it's not a good idea."

"Bacon milkshake!" There was no deterring of the young Levin; Devin could read it in his son's eyes.

Kevin was plugging it in after he lugged the massive thing up onto the counter. Then he started dropping the pieces of crisp bacon into the mouth of the blender. His eyes glimmered with joy. Finally. He could have his bacon milkshake.

"Kevin, really," Devin kept on saying, "please don't. Your mother will be so upset when she realizes I didn't do anything."

"No."

Devin wasn't sure how in the world that was an answer, but he accepted it. Kevin still wasn't going to back down and the Plumber was willing to respect that in his young son. He just pressed a hand to his forehead and hoped this didn't blow up in his face.

Kevin pressed the button.

Bacon bits flew all around the kitchen as the blender went off. The young boy was screaming and his father was laughing. Devin had a tendency to find anything funny. Bacon flying everywhere was quite funny to him.

His young son, on the other hand, was terrified. All he heard was a shrieking rumble of the blender and he ducked. That was all he needed to know. He was used to screaming machines in his ears and he hated the sound of it. His body just told him to hide from it all.

After about five solid minutes of laughing and hearing his son's pitiful screams, Devin finally managed to get to his feet and not keel over from giggling his rear off. He pushed his way over towards the still running and slicing blender in the family's small kitchen and pressed a button. The thing immediately died under his fingertip, the blades suddenly ceasing to whir.

Kevin was just huddled up on top of his footstool, begging for the sound to stop. His ebony hair was laced with bacon shreds and he was covered in what seemed to be slops of liquid-like bacon remnants.

"Kevin?"

The young boy opened one eye and pulled a hand away from his face to stare up into his father's warm, smiling face.

"I told you so."

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**A/N: I love this. Poor Kevin. I'm always traumatizing him with bacon… Review!**

**~Sky**

**P.S. Don't forget to check out AnonymousNavi on deviantArt!**


	39. Hippie Jesus

**A/N: This is good.**

**Disclaimer: I own Eliza.**

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Gwen rummaged through some old school papers of Devlin's while the dark boy filed through the computer to work on his report for some artists. "I swear we did this artist back when you were like ten," said his red-haired mother. "If we kidnap the art from that, you wouldn't have to recopy it all."

It was at that point that Eliza decided to skip in the room. Being the seven-year-old she was, it was her job to harass her brother. Seeing all his old school paper and art made it just so much easier. "What's this?" she asked, picking up some rolled up papers and beginning to unroll them quietly. Her eyes skimmed the papers. "It's boring."

"Eliza, can you help me look for some art?" asked the woman, looking up at her eldest daughter. "Devlin, show her the picture and she can help me look."

The boy in the gray sweatshirt immediately lifted his sapphire blue gaze to stare at his little sister with a horrified expression. "Um… no?" he offered, not wanting his sister to get any picture of the crap he had drawn in school back when he was like six. It would've been horrible for him to have her laughing at him and she would get great blackmail out of it all.

"Devlin, we can't work on this project all night," remarked his mother, giving him a stare with her deep emerald eyes. "And we don't even know if we'll find the art that you did on that artist. You may just end up going over to FedEx with your dad to go get some printed out in some serious full-sized crap. But for now, we look for the old copy. Give her the picture and she can help me."

As Eliza shot her brother a wicked smile, he grimaced and reluctantly turned the computer to show her the massive picture of a piece by Salvador Dali. "Start looking," he commanded before turning back to write up his report on the artist.

It was nearly ten minutes later when Eliza finally spoke up. "Oh… my… Lord…" breathed his sister before toppling over backwards into the piles of papers and laughing so hard that she was crying within a matter of moments. A large piece of paper hung in her fingers and she held it tightly as tears slid down her face and her lungs and chest and stomach started to hurt with all the pain of giggling her butt off.

Gwen's eyes lifted from the papers she kept shuffling through. "What is it?" she asked, taking the paper from her daughter's hand. The girl easily let go because it was starting to hurt holding it so tightly.

"IT'S A HIPPIE JESUS!"

Devlin immediately looked up from the nearly finished report. "I drew a what?" asked the ten-year-old boy. He watched her skeptically with one raised eyebrow.

"It's supposed to be Mona Lisa," said Gwen, turning the picture to her son so he could look at the outline of the famous portrait that had been colored in with a tie-dye shirt and a rainbow sky and enough peace signs everywhere to convince anyone that it was at least a hippie. "But she thinks it's a hippie Jesus."

The young girl continued to laugh as her body convulsed with the constant giggles.

"It does sort of look like a hippie Jesus," commented Gwen, turning it so that she could look at it herself. She admired it quietly for a moment.

It was at that moment that Kevin happened to walk in. He approached Gwen and leaned down to put his large hands lovingly on her shoulders. "Whatcha lookin' at?"

"Devlin drew a hippie Jesus," giggled the man's dark-haired daughter as she continued to roll on the floor while laughter was stripped from her throat.

Kevin raised an eyebrow and looked at it as his son groaned. "That's not a hippie Jesus," remarked Kevin before crashing backwards onto the couch and reaching forward to play with his wife's long waterfall of scarlet hair. His fingers ran though the long crimson locks. "Everyone knows Jesus has a beard."

This sent the whole Levin household into fits of laughter.

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**A/N: Ah, random discussions at home are fun. Reviews are gladly appreciated.**

**~Sky**


	40. Jim Cantore

**A/N: So this is what I get for being in the middle of a chaotic snow storm...**

**Disclaimer: I own squat.  
****Warning: Slight language and references.**

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"She pissed somebody off," said Kevin, watching the Weather Channel with Gwen at his side. The girl was curled up right beside him, the two of them watching the television and anxiously waiting to see if Bellwood would get hammered with the churning blizzards that kept sweeping America. "That chick in Lafayette, Indiana. She slept with somebody's husband or something."

"How do you know?" asked Gwen, emerald eyes piercing her boyfriend's stone-like skin. She wasn't sure how he always knew these things, but he just seemed to know and usually happened to be right.

"She's in Lafayette, Indiana," said Kevin, raking his calloused fingers through his ebony locks. "Do you know where that is?" A smile crept across his dark features and his obsidian orbs watched her facial expression fall drastically.

Gwen thought it over and looked at the map where the woman's little picture icon was. It was poised over Indiana and partially over Ohio. "I have no clue."

"Exactly," laughed Kevin, pulling his girlfriend closer to his body with one arm wrapped around her fragile body, her waist fitting perfectly into his warm arms. "That's not where you want to be, especially if there's an opportunity to have a better place on this sort of weather beat."

The redhead smiled, willingly curling into the Osmosian. She liked having his warm arms around her.

The screen flashed and Jim Cantore came on. The two burst out laughing at the strange man. They always found the poor guy utterly hilarious.

"That is one man who must hate his life," snickered Kevin, a smile pressed to his lips. He loved laughing at the poor guy who was currently standing in the heart of the blizzard. His dark eyes twinkled with delight at the idea of watching a guy be miserable for a few hours a day.

"He must hate his job," chimed in Gwen, unable to stop from giggling at the crazy man who was being whipped with winds and beaten with flakes of snow the size of ice cubes.

"But he must really, really hate his life," continued Kevin. "I mean, he does this every day for his whole life and everything and that's gotta suck so dang much." He smiled as the man was nearly knocked down with the crashing winds and waves of snow. "I hate winter and I can't imagine how much that must just totally suck…"

He was off the screen again soon after, but twenty minutes later, when he came back on, the two were giggling again and Kevin actually fell off the couch in a fit of laughter when Jim Cantore fell into a snow bank on the edge of the street.

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**A/N: That poor guy… For those of you who watch the Weather Channel, you'll know what I'm talking about. Review please!**

**~Sky**


	41. No Hablo Ingles

**A/N: My father on the phone… He's always funny.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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Sick and tired of hearing all the telemarketers call his house while he was trying to watch television with his beloved wife, Kevin finally snapped. He snatched the phone off the receiver to hear what the telemarketer had to say.

"Hello, Mr. Levin-"

Kevin hated how they knew his name. He hated it when anyone knew his name, really.

"Who is it?" asked Gwen as she curled against her husband, red hair standing out against his dark clothing.

"Shh," Kevin hissed through gritted teeth, trying to hear what else they had to say to him on the other end of the phone. She turned the volume down on the television so he could hear better.

Gwen grinned knowingly and snuggled against Kevin just a little bit more, loving the way his muscular arm curled around her slender body.

"We're calling to see if you're interested in-"

At that point, Kevin gave up. No, he wasn't interested. How many times had this exact same number called his house? A hundred times. Was he tired of it? Most definitely. "No hablo ingles."

There was a pause on the other end of the line. A pause of panic.

Gwen was cracking up beside Kevin.

"No- No hablo ingles…" Kevin knew enough Spanish to say that he couldn't speak it. The irony of just that alone made Kevin have to smack his hand over his beloved redhead's mouth to keep her quiet for the time being. He didn't want her to be overheard on the other end of the line.

"So does anyone there speak English?" asked the young woman on the other end of the line, her voice now shaky and somewhat nervous. "Anyone at all?"

Kevin had to keep his hand clamped over Gwen's mouth, but she was about to fall off the couch… "No hablo ingles…" he repeated, amazed that this woman didn't understand what the heck was going on. "No hablo ingles, senorita."

"O-okay," breathed the woman, now taking a gulp. "Bye then, Mr. Levin."

"No hablo ingles," he said again as the line clicked dead. A smirk was smeared across his face.

Gwen finally fell off the couch when Kevin let go of her, her body convulsing in a serious fit of giggles.

The next week, the same number called and this time, they had a Spanish woman on the other end of the line. That week, Kevin decided he was Polish.

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**A/N: Oh, Kevin… Reviews get hugs!**

**~Sky**


	42. Microwaves, Bacon, Kevin, and Harvey

**A/N: Decided to write a moment. Why? Because I felt the need to traumatize Kevin with some bacon again!**

**Disclaimer: I'm working on adopting Ben 10, but Man of Action isn't willing to give up the cute lil' contract… Haha, jk jk!**

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Kevin had grabbed the bacon out of the fridge and was peeling the strips of meat out of the packaging. He was eight-years-old and perfectly capable of getting himself breakfast. But Harvey was home this time and Harvey was perfectly willing to help. Because he was Harvey and Harvey was awesome.

"Okay, so what do we have to do?" asked the man, ruffling his stepson's raven-haired locks. "You've done this before right?"

"I have, but I completely failed at it."

Harvey, not much of a cook himself, let a little look of frustration pass his lips. "Okay, so why are we making bacon?" he asked, blinking a couple of times. "I'm pretty sure your mom and I bought some cereal when we went to the store last Tuesday…"

"But Harvey," said Kevin firmly, obsidian eyes glancing up at the man who was now functioning as his dad, "would we men rather eat cereal or bacon?" Kevin held up both of his hands like a scale and weighed the odds.

Unsure where Kevin got the idea that he was a man now that he was eight-and-two-thirds-years-old, but Harvey wasn't about to argue with his stepson. "Good point, buddy," he said, again mussing up the young boy's hair. "So does bacon come with instructions?"

"Nope."

Even Harvey knew that it could only go downhill from there. He watched as Kevin began to place the strips of it onto a plate. "How do we make bacon then?"

"Mom says I have to put it on the plate and in the microwave when I'm home alone, but you're here." Kevin gave a little shrug as he piled a few more bacon pieces onto the plate. "But since you have no idea how to make bacon, we're going to stick to the plate and put it in the microwave."

"I know how to make bacon," said Harvey indignantly, folding his arms across his chest as he looked down at the young Levin boy with a slightly narrowed gaze.

Kevin raised an eyebrow slightly. "And remind me again why you were asking for the bacon instructions?"

To this, Harvey had no response.

The young boy placed the last of the bacon on the plate. "So now you need to put it in the microwave." Kevin picked up the plate and put it into Harvey's hands with a certain force that meant he was completely serious.

"Why me?"

"So that when it blows up, it's your fault, not mine."

"Why would it blow up?"

"Because it just happens whenever I'm in the room. Which is why I'm going to walk out of the room and you're going to put it in the microwave and we're going to make bacon so it doesn't explode. Okay?"

Harvey tried to grope for words, but none would come. Because sometimes, Harvey really, really wondered about this kid. "O-Okay…" His eyes were almost afraid.

Kevin began to walk his way out of the room, watching Harvey all the while. He hung right outside the doorway to the kitchen so that he could hear the microwave go off. The young Levin boy didn't want to walk off too far and not hear the microwave go off and then let Harvey eat all of his bacon.

Harvey, almost afraid to do this for his stepson, carefully put the plate in the microwave and closed the door. He then hit the buttons that he hoped would be the right amount of time to cook the bacon thoroughly. "I hit it for three minutes," he announced, hoping Kevin could hear him.

"No, Harvey, it's for like seven or something."

"But you blew it up," noted the boy's stepfather.

"But which one of us at least has experience in bacon making?"

Harvey wished he had some sort of smart remark to throw back at the kid through the wall, but he had nothing. He felt stupid compared to the bright little eight-year-old boy. "Fine." He hit the buttons a few more times and set it for about six minutes.

"I said seven!"

The man grumbled and hit a few more buttons. He stood by the microwave for a while, arms folded across his chest. He couldn't believe that he didn't know how to make bacon. He made a mental note to learn how to make it later just so he could show his stepson how smart he really was.

And that was when the bacon started sparking. He just looked in to check on it and he saw little red flares jumping off the meat. "Um, Kevin?"

"It's gonna catch on fire, isn't it?" asked Kevin, poking his head in the room.

And as soon as Kevin poked his head within the doorframe, the whole thing burst into flames.

"Wow, you really are bad luck," snickered Harvey, unable to keep from laughing.

"IT'S ON FIRE AND YOU'RE LAUGHING AT ME?"

The man's face instantly went serious. Because the house really was on fire and he really did have a son to watch after. Harvey thought about grabbing a fire extinguisher before realizing that there wasn't one in the house. It had been used last week when Kevin's mother tried to make pancakes and they hadn't gotten a new one since.

Harvey took a moment before running over to Kevin whose face was a mix of fury and frustration and grabbing the boy by the waist and throwing him over one shoulder before fleeing the house.

"WHYYYY?" cried Kevin, staring at the sky. "WHYYYY MUST I BE CUUUUURRRSSSEDDD?"

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**A/N: Hehe. Decided that since Devin has been in so many that Harvey needed one or two. And he's so oblivious… I love it. Review!**

**~Sky**


	43. Fluffy

**A/N: I asked for some fluff from Kasta because I couldn't come up with something for 'Counting Gwevin' and for some reason, she gave me this. So here we go.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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Gwen was watching him with attentive eyes, seeing him analyzing one of the many teddy bears that he had given her over the years. "Sometimes, I wonder how romantic you are compared to other boys." She had her chin in one hand and her elbow propping her up from where she laid on the bed. "I'm not complaining, but I do get the same two gifts every year for Valentine's Day. I love you, but really…"

Kevin's obsidian orbs tore away from the teddy bear that he was holding. "What?"

"Like, sometimes you're not fluffy enough."

Kevin had to arch an eyebrow at that. He didn't exactly understand what she meant. Fluffy? What was she talking about? He gave her fluffy toys, he let her have the fluffy passenger seat. What more did the girl want? He was nice most of the time. That was a bonus.

"You're not fluffy enough."

Kevin took a moment, drank in these words and then eyed the bear again warily.

Gwen wasn't sure what he was thinking, but the way his face twisted up sort of scared her. She could tell he was scheming and that he was thinking for a solution to the problem. That was what scared her.

Kevin schemed a lot. He was a very devious kind of guy. And to find an answer to the fluffy problem, she was almost afraid to see what he had in mind…

In one fluid motion, Kevin tore off the teddy bear's head, the seams splitting with ease because of the force he used on it. Then he tossed the small stuffed animal's head to the side and then began to rip out the innards of the thing, the fluff and stuffing looking unfitting in his calloused grip. And then he held out that hand full of fluff towards his girlfriend. "Fluffy enough for you?"

Gwen actually toppled off her bed, giggles racking her entire body.

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**A/N: Thanks goes out to my little sister Kasta Evanson for helping me come up with this one. Reviews are appreciated!**

**~Sky**


	44. Mississippi

**A/N: As promised, a new Moment every day! Today, Kevin. Tomorrow, Julie. Wednesday, Gwendolyn. Thursday has Everyone Else, and Friday… BEN! ARE YOU READY FOR BEN 10 WEEK?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ben 10. BEN 10 WEEK!**

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The redhead was almost afraid to see that smirk lingering on his thin lips and dark features. The way he grinned so devilishly almost made her cringe. What could he possibly be planning that made him smile more than he did when he was about to push Ben down for the hundredth time in one day? Oh, there were a lot of things he could be smiling about, Gwen knew that. She was just afraid to even think of the consequences that could lie behind whatever his insane scheme would be.

Would she have slime running through her mane of crimson? No, she didn't think Kevin would be so cruel.

Would she find a disgusting smoothie in her cup the next day? No, Kevin wasn't that mean. To Ben, maybe, but not to the Tennyson girl.

Or would she just so happen to sit in the passenger seat only to find out after the sound that he had implanted a whoopee cushion under the leather? Oh, Gwen was scared alright. She had no clue what that plotting grin was all about. She hadn't the slightest notion of what he was scheming.

And sometimes, his scheming got dangerous.

Last week, the girl had found Ben in a vending machine. She didn't even know how he'd gotten in there, but she figured it had to have been Kevin. Who else would stick Ben in a vending machine?

Well, Cash, J.T., Vilgax, Albedo, Darkstar… The list would've run on for miles if she had actually written it down.

And then after the vending machine incident, she had found that he had turned Ben's car into a convertible by running it beneath a semi. Yeah, Kevin had done that. Just so he could finish working on Ben's car, getting the weapon systems online and such. It was just downright mean in any case.

Then the girl had found her phone covered with honey one day, sticking to her hand. She was grateful she hadn't had a phone call and had only gotten a text or else her hair would've been sticky for days.

No, this smile was more devious, more cunning, more just plain old vicious to have anything in mind that would be so naïve. Gwen was almost fearful that he would do something dangerous like throw Ben in a frozen lake somewhere in Alaska. He had a jet, after all.

Not even that sounded as foul as his smile suggested. No, Gwen was afraid that she was going to see something really, really horrible today. Maybe not today, but maybe in days to come. In those days to come, she knew she would have to be on constant alert, vigilant of any signs of Kevin doing something different, a change in his routine, an alteration of his routes. Gwen was afraid that he'd be planning something really big. The good news was that she figured the whole thing would be on Ben instead of her, but that didn't make her think that she would let her guard down for even a moment.

"Gwen?"

The words of her boyfriend shook Gwen from her thinking stupor, making her shake her head to clear her thoughts of all the vile things her beloved Osmosian could do to people. He was easily capable of killing, but his smirk implied that he was in a pranking mood rather than a murderous one. Which was definitely better in more ways than one. "Yeah?" she responded, emerald orbs coming into focus as she watched his dark features smile at her in that loving way.

His head cocked to one side slightly, shaggy black hair partially covering the left side of his face, hiding part of one obsidian eye. And then he asked one of the dumbest questions she had ever heard come out of his mouth. "How do you spell Mississippi with no 'i's?"

She was almost hoping that this wasn't what that grin was about. It was a stupidly simple question. He knew how to read and write. He'd dropped out of school in fifth grade, not kindergarten. The girl wasn't dumb. So Gwen had to blink, work on putting together this question so that it made more sense, and then worked to solve what the heck he was asking. And when she found herself still confused, the redhead asked, "What are you talking about?"

"It's a simple question," he answered, giving a little nod in her direction. Those dark eyes glimmered playfully. "You're the smart one. How do you spell Mississippi with no 'i's?"

So she went through it in her head before slowly saying, "M-S-S-S-S-P-P."

Kevin's smirk tugged the corner of his lips up higher until he was wearing the biggest grin that she had ever seen planted upon his dark features. And then he said, "I bet I could spell it faster than you."

Gwen now knew that this was what he had been cooking up. And it was dumb more than anything. She rolled her eyes and sighed heavily. "Kevin-"

Before she had been given any warning, he covered his eyes with his hands and quickly rattled off, "M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I."

Then Gwen banged her hand against her forehead while Kevin was snickering, "No eyes."

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**A/N: Ta-da! Kevin for the day! Also, pictures of my Kevin outfit and Kass's Gwen outfit will be posted on my Facebook fanpage! Go check 'em out!**

**~Sky**

**P.S. Sorry it's late! The FF servers were down yesterday. Not my fault. I had it written...**


	45. Channel Two News

**A/N: Wow, Kasta is being a jerk. Gonna get one last thing posted before she gets me grounded from the computer for weeks.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  
****Warning: There's like one little part where it mentions some things that aren't for children so… yeah. I would say rated T for like one part.**

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He stared intently at the television as yet another commercial for the channel two news came around. The reporter, a blonde woman with crow's feet that would've made an eighty-year-old look young, announced for the tenth time in the past hour of the Levin man's television viewing time that baseball was suddenly a dangerous sport. And frankly, Kevin was about ready to change the channel just so he didn't have to watch the bad commercials anymore. He didn't care who the murderer was on CSI, as long as he didn't have to watch this horrible woman tell him the exact same report for the billionth time. It was irritating the heck out of him.

"You really hate this channel, don't you?" asked Gwen, watching her husband's disgusted look as the woman appeared on-screen again moments later after a commercial for air fresheners to say how baseball was dangerous.

"With a burning passion," confirmed Kevin. All he wanted to do was watch his CSI before he went to bed. It was only an hour worth of channel two that he watched each week with the occasional exception of NCIS: Los Angeles which only totally his channel two time at two hours a week.

Once, they had announced that they were going to do a piece on people with cold hands and how it could lead to serious health issues. He had unnaturally cold hands sometimes and had zero explanation for it; Kevin, being curious, had actually watched the news. He had not gotten a single piece of information from the channel two news. Nothing. Nil. Nada. They just said the exact same thing they had in the commercials: cold hands can lead to health problems in the future. It was almost funny until he realized how pissed off he was at the television and broke the screen. Since then, he had been at war with the channel two news.

"Then why do you watch it?" asked Gwen. A smile was spread out on her face. She already knew the answer. The only thing Kevin watched religiously was CSI. Every Thursday night, she would find him planted on the couch with a bag of trail mix in his lap. And he would be happily munching on his trail mix while watching people get shot, bodies get cut open, and sex tapes watched. Yes, CSI was his passion. It was his version of when football players watched old movies to analyze plays and movements; he watched CSI to learn the tricks of the trade. Of course, being a Plumber was a completely different concept, but he ignored that fact. It was the general analysis of everything that intrigued him.

He was scowling. "I wanna watch CSI." A handful of trail mix was shoved into his mouth as he waited for the crappy commercials to end. He truly did hate this channel; if it weren't for CSI, he never would've watched channel two his entire life.

There was no possible way for Gwen to resist asking the question. "What about this channel pisses you off?"

"The news."

His answer was so blunt, so straightforward, that Gwen had to make sure she heard him right by running the response through her head multiple times to make sure she hadn't been hearing things. Gwen was still questioning how this was an answer when Kevin began his rant.

He had become infamous for his ranting. Kevin could go on and on about one subject and never get tired of calling out very bad thing about it. He could be so critical on some things and others, be so vague. He was critical in his analysis of the news. Probably because he was so hyped up on his CSI steroids for the night.

"It's like, I'll watch CSI for an hour, and they'll advertise for this one topic _at least _two times each commercial break. There are about four or five commercial breaks, give or take, so I see this same snippet, what, ten times? At least six times, minimum. So then, if I decide to care, I'll watch it and they'll tell me-" He went quiet, watching the woman's face come back on the screen as she announced once more how dangerous baseball is. "Like that! They've been telling me this for an hour. Now when the news actually comes on, they'll say somethin' like 'Baseball is dangerous. A man was hit in the face yesterday. Critical condition. Will tell you more tomorrow.' And that'll be it! It's like, if you're gonna give me sucky news, at least give me sucky news the right way, ya know?"

The redhead beside him was quiet. Because she had never really seen sucky news. She really didn't care most of the time. She was more of a channel seven person anyways. "No, I don't know."

"Well watch this. Tomorrow, they'll say something like 'Man's head found in ball return. More news later.' Then later they'll be like, 'Man's head found in ball return on south side. Bowling is dangerous. Murderer may be at large. Police investigating. Will give more details later.' So I'm thinkin' that later means in the news, right? Well I'm wrong, apparently. False advertising, I tell you. Channel two sucks, Gwen. You stick with five and seven and nine 'cause two sucks really bad." Kevin made a little "pfft" noise while blowing his shaggy black hair out of his eyes. He then continued to munch on his trail mix.

"Your commentary on the world is hilarious," laughed Gwen quietly, resting her head on her husband's broad shoulder as the two sat alone in their little ranch-style house. "Really, if you were a comedian, you would ruin the economy or something."

Kevin again made his little "pfft" sound. "Then channel two news would say 'Kevin Levin ruins economy. News at ten.' I'd watch the news, and they'd be like, 'Kevin Levin ruins economy. Comedian destroys banks and our channel. We have now been shut down. Goodbye viewers.' And-" Kevin had to pause for a long moment, teeth crunching into a pretzel. "Okay, I have to be a comedian and ruin the economy. I'd finally be able to get rid of the channel two news."

Gwen wasn't even going to tell him how weird that would be. He would crash the economy on purpose? Seriously? She was about to ask him if he knew how dumb that sounded, but that was when the commercial break ended and her husband's beloved CSI came back on. The red-haired woman resigned to keeping her mouth shut. If he only had to endure channel two's news for an hour a week, she was pretty sure he'd survive.

Until a breaking news bulletin splayed itself across the screen, showing how Ben was smashing a giant alien. "AW, COME ON! CSI'S ON, TENNYSON!" And the lady news anchor was on. That sealed the television's death warrant.

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**A/N: There's another moment. Love writing for Kevin. Review please!**

**~Sky**


	46. The Freckle

**A/N: I've been so slow the last two days. My schedule has been crippled, but hopefully I'll get something done tomorrow since my 'rents won't be home to tell me to stay off the computer. So here's another MOMENT OF KEVIN!**

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own Ben 10. Man of Action does 'cause those guys over there are brilliant masterminds, creating such a glorious show as this…**

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"Hey, Gwen?" called Kevin from the girl's bedroom where they had been studying for the past seven and a half hours. His head had been buried in a book until he had gotten distracted. "Can you come 'ere for a second?"

The girl, emitting a groan, pulled the bag of chips she had been about to dump into a bowl off the counter and padded her way up the stairs. Her ballet flat-clad feet barely made a sound on the carpeted steps. And Gwen was up the stairs and ducking into her room in a heartbeat. "What is it, Kevin?"

If she had been paying attention and trying to listen, Gwen would've noticed that Kevin had his elbow high above his head, one of his calloused fingers on his tricep as he held his arm in that position with one finger as the others traced circles around a little brownish dot on his skin. And his deep black eyes flitted up to her petite form. "Was this freckle always here?" Then his dark eyes zeroed in on the chips. "Oh, cool, you brought chips." And like a child, he stretched his arms out and began to reach for it.

"Yes, Kevin, I'm pretty sure that freckle has always been there." The lithe redhead tossed the bag of chips at her boyfriend's face and heard a _crunch! _as it hit him. She didn't mind. Not like she was going to eat them. The chips in her house were specifically reserved for parties or her boyfriend and cousin when they came over.

In less than a heartbeat, the chips were ripped open and Kevin was avidly munching on the contents of the bag. "Are you sure?" His dark eyes were serious and held faint traces of concern. "It's suspicious that I've never noticed that freckle there before. Usually, I notice these things!"

"Just like you noticed I was wearing a new shirt yesterday?" questioned Gwen as she curled up in the pile of pillows that were scattered on her big bed. She picked up one of the books that she'd been quizzing Kevin on before she'd left to go downstairs.

There was a brief silence. Then Kevin stupidly asked, "You were wearing a new shirt yesterday?"

A huffed sigh came from Gwen. "My point exactly, Kevin."

He munched another chip. "This is me we're talking about. I've lived my entire life and never noticed that freckle. I don't think that was there before." His gaze was level with that of his beloved. "What if I've got like some sort of rare disease? What if it means I've only got twenty-four hours to live? Or nineteen days? Or what if… What if I was cursed with having to get the chicken pox twice, but the second time they'd be brown instead of red?"

"That's ridiculous." Gwen knew he could sometimes be eccentric; it was one of the reasons she loved him. Then there were days, days like this, when she wanted to just smack him for being so stupid or smack herself for being stupid enough to date him. "None of that is even logical."

His cunning retort was, "Are aliens logical?"

There were thousands upon thousands of ways she could've responded to that, going into the biological side of things and the way the planets were most likely formed out of science, but the redhead ignored her Osmosian's stupidity. Instead, she was just going to get him to stop worrying that he was going to die. "For one, I've seen that freckle before. It's almost exactly in the middle of the underside of your tricep, but it's a little off-center." The girl was a little scared that she knew that, but she did take pride in her photographic memory. "For two, freckles don't appear overnight."

"How do you know that?" Kevin's stare quickly became defensive and challenging.

"Have you _ever _used the Internet to look up illnesses and such?" Gwen's jade stare was knowing; she was the girl who would know weird things like this. When her boyfriend shook his head, she sighed and said, "Kevin, freckles don't just randomly show up."

"But I haven't noticed this one before." His eyes were flitting back to his arm as he pulled it back behind his head once more to see the little brownish spot on his skin. Kevin continued to trace it with one finger. "Why haven't I noticed this one before?"

"It's not exactly in a noticeable place," Gwen pointed out.

After a moment of thought, Kevin nodded. "True, true." And he went silent, his head buried in a book as he continued to study for his GED. The freckle was pushed to the back of his mind.

Gwen wasn't sure what she was going to do with him.

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**A/N: Shorter, I'm sorry. Just wanted one of those moments. Haha. So reviews would be welcomed!**

**~Sky**


	47. Footballs are Fun

**A/N: Bill did this… He's my aunt's boyfriend…**

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own anything.**

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Natalie snapped pictures beside her daughter, capturing snapshots in time. The football spiraling between her Gwen and her boyfriend. Ben's goofy face as he shoved Popsicles up his nose. Frank cooking hotdogs on the grill. Sandra meditating for some strange reason…

She even got a shot of Kevin hopping over the fence to retrieve the football that Gwen had tossed into the neighbor's shrubbery. Because he was Kevin, there wasn't any fear of fierce dogs or thorns tearing at his jeans. He didn't mind.

Natalie turned around and snapped a picture of some cardinals fluttering overhead before vanishing over the roof.

Kevin snagged the football out of a rosebush. He was half tempted to grab one of the blooming flowers from Gwen, but that was stealing. Even if it was alright. A flower wasn't a gaming console, but still…

The camera snapped the image of Carl flipping a veggie burger.

That was when the football came spiraling over the fence, the threads of white on it turning and turning fast enough to be nearly invisible. The throw was perfect.

The aim was not.

Frank was the first to notice it, but he thought Gwen would be able to snag it out of the air. He was too in shock to say anything.

Then Gwen realized it, her eyes widening. "Kevin!" Her voice was scolding and a bit frantic.

"Aunt Lilly!" Ben, who had the second shortest attention span, only falling second to Carl, was finally catching on.

"Who wants burgers?" called out Carl as he slopped a few of the vegetarian-friendly patties onto a platter.

Kevin hauled himself over the fence just in time to see his girlfriend's mom get nailed in the forehead with a football. "Oh crap…" He ducked back down and covered his head, expecting the yelling to start.

Instead, he heard cackling coming from the other side of the fence. Hell, the Fourth of July was supposed to be the time for crazy stuff to happen. Including Kevin making a _great_ impression on Lilly. Just great, really…

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**A/N: Bill smacked my grandmother in the head with a wet Frisbee… Gooooodd times… Review! 'cause Kevin rocks! Haha! Carl rocks too...**

**~Sky**


	48. Bacon Shirt

**A/N: Quickie moment.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

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"Kevin, guess what I got you!"

If those words had come out of anyone else's mouth, Gwen would've been fine, but the thought of Ben getting a present for his best friend for no apparent reason was a terrifying thing.

"Tennyson, I swear, if it's another can of snakes, I will shove it up your-"

"No, dude!" said Ben, cringing at the thought. Ben didn't want the can of snakes incident to happen again. The first time had been... traumatizing. "I got you a new shirt!" And out of a ripped plastic bag, Ben produced a white t-shirt and handed it to the driver of the green and black Camaro. "Two reasons: One, you need to stop wearing black, and two, it's funny."

Reluctantly, Kevin took the shirt. Caution guarded his eyes. Gwen noticed that he was a little scared when he shot her a look. And then he unfolded the white fabric.

Written across the front was "Bacon Strips" over and over and over and over again.

"Seriously, Tennyson?" asked Kevin with a light growl on his voice.

"Mhm!" said Ben with a smirk.

Later that night, Ben found himself nearly choking on that shirt.

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**A/N: Done. Review.**

**~Sky**

**P.S. Yes, the shirt exists.**


	49. Zombie People

**A/N: So I wanted to get this up. Originally, it was going to be a Devin-moment for 1011, but it's not. Turned into Kevin.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own at all.**

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Devin looked to the neighbor his wife was talking to. Eyes sunk into her head, hair frizzy and crazy. Wrinkles lining her face and crow's feet clinging to her eyes. Flabs of disgusting wrinkly skin hung from her neck. Nasty stuff. Nasty, nasty stuff.

In his mind, she had a bad reputation. Over the past few years, he'd noticed more holes dug in their yard and covered up the next day with a fresh layer of dirt. Their house always had the blinds drawn shut and shadows within. So, because of their appearance (the husband looked as disgusting as his wife) and their habits, Devin had taking a liking to calling them "The Zombie People". The holes in the yard did look a lot like graves.

Having a zombie person in his house was not at all scary. He could beat them. If they didn't eat his brain first.

Kevin had the same notion as his father. Devin had told him all his theories on the Zombie People. Devin had told him countless times about the small, sharp tools that they could see laying around the yard, and about how the holes in the yard were graves.

Devin and Kevin were now peering around the corner, watching the woman of the house speak with their neighbor. "What do you think she's doing here?" asked Kevin, glancing up at his father with scared brown eyes.

"They're talking about the fence." Devin had heard the first bit of the conversation before excusing himself to the bathroom, only to hide behind a wall with his son and stare. "They want to move their fence. They've run out of room for the bodies."

Kevin shivered. He got a little pat on the shoulder from his father. Devin continued to talk. "They ran out of room for the bodies or…"

"Or?" squeaked Kevin, trying to keep his voice down to a whisper. If his mother saw him and his dad spying like that, man, he would be in a world of trouble. His brown eyes went wide with fear and he looked up at his father, terror overtaking his small form.

"Or she came to size you up."

The kid's eyes went as wide as saucers. No way were they getting him! No way! He wouldn't go down without a fight! "No!" he said, voice a little higher than usual. "No, she won't get me! You'll protect me, won't you, Daddy?"

With his cocky grin and that completely devilish smile, Devin just leaned down and whispered into his son's ear, "Braaaaaiiiiinnnnnssss!"

Horror consumed Kevin's mind. His dad was there a second ago, right? He could still see the Zombie Lady, but the Zombie Man... Kevin didn't know where he was. What if he wanted to eat his brains? Panicking, he tried to run away-

-only to run into a wall.

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**A/N: Review?**

**~Sky**


	50. Breaking More Doors

**A/N: Ah, walking home from Kailynn's house and… yeah…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. At all.**

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Ben opened his eyes to see snow all around him. And to feel the cold stinging his skin. And to suddenly roll over in the snow and look at the house behind him and see the front door slamming shut. He looked out at the snow, still falling, tiny crystals dropping from the icy gray sky. "KEVIN!" He stood up in his boxers and began to move towards the door, falling face first in the snow after two steps.

"You are so _evil_." Gwen shivered and wrapped her scarf tighter around her. She'd only gone outside to make sure her boyfriend hadn't completely stripped her cousin. Torturing him like that would've been over the edge. She was only a partner in crime.

Kevin pinned himself against the door as he peered through the window to see Ben screaming and running for the house only to fall down again on the water that'd turned to ice only a few seconds after Kevin had put the hose on the front steps. "It's my job." He smirked to the girl and held the door shut. "No brother to strip him and leave him out in the cold, so I've taken it upon myself to torment him."

"And you don't have a brother either," noted Gwen with a knowing smile. Her arms folded across her chest as her jade orbs checked the window to see her half naked cousin grabbing at the door knob and tugging as hard as he could while yelling "KEVIN! KEVIN, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

The ebony-haired teen shook his head and gave a harsh laugh. "Very true. I've never really had anyone to torment." His arms were strained as Ben pulled on the other side of the door. He was so glad the Osmosian heritage gave him a little advanced strength.

"Until Ben became a victim."

"Exactly." Kevin managed to keep the door barred shut. "He's so easy too, that's the worst part." He checked over his shoulder to shoot her a big smile before the door was ripped off the hinges and a furious Rath stood outside, orange fur like fire against the snow. His dark eyes checked forward again see the giant tiger-like alien standing before him. Fear crept into his gaze.

"KEVIN ETHAN LEVIN, YOU DESERVE A GOOD BEATING FROM RA-"

"Ben!" Sandra's voice came from the kitchen as her blonde head poked around the wall, gaze tinged with anger. "Did you just break the door?"

Rath's face fell, dejected, wounded. A white paw slammed on the symbol on his chest and a cold, pale Ben stepped inside, arms wrapped around his shivering body. "Kevin shoved me outside!" whimpered the brunette teen, pouting in his mother's general direction.

Sandra's scolding glare found the raven-haired teen. Her lips pursed. "Kevin Levin-"

"He broke the door at my house!" Kevin's protesting was even cuter to Gwen since he had a knit hat over his black hair and almost covering his deep obsidian eyes. "I'm just makin' him break his own door so he has to fix it himself! My mom made me fix mine, and it's not fair 'cause he broke it!"

Her blonde head pulled back around the corner and into the kitchen; the sound of the running sink meant she'd gone back to washing dishes. "Kevin, please fix my front door."

A groan and slumped shoulders later, Kevin was picking up the front door and searching the snow for the bolts and hinges that Rath had ripped out of the doorframe. "It's not fair," he mumbled after tracking back inside and stamping the snow off his shoes while Ben moved back to his room to find his jacket and some pants.

"Well," Gwen said with a content sigh as she leaned against a wall and watched him come in and take his gloves off to begin using his powers for repairs. "You may not have a brother, but you do have another mother."

"Stop rhyming. It makes stuff worse." He absorbed the hinge's brass and began to morph more metal around the door and the busted screws. Kevin took a brief pause in his work and looked over his shoulder with a twisted little smirk and a devilish gleam in his eyes. "And it's a sign of _witches_."

Gwen rolled her eyes and began to move off to see if her aunt needed help with the dishes while pulling the blue scarf from around her neck and tossing it on the couch. "You're evil _and _weird."

He grinned and turned back to his work after calling out a brief "Thank you!"

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**A/N: Review?**

**~Sky**


	51. Not a Normal Burrito

**A/N: Been a while, but my sister reminded of this thing I used to do as a kid and I figure Kevin's just weird enough to be like me. That derpy little kid that did weird stuff.**

**Disclaimer: I own my recipe. Otherwise, nada.**

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It was strange for her to hear the sound of Kevin plopping down groceries in the kitchen. Gwen heard it all the way from the back bedroom, and the fact that he wasn't immediately searching for her to make him a sandwich meant that he was behaving himself for once. The girl paused from putting away laundry to listen closely.

From the kitchen, there was the sound of rustling in the silverware drawer and then the scraping of a plastic plate coming out of a dingy cabinet in their tiny kitchen on the other side of the thin wall. Then some packaging was ripped open and a jar lid popped off.

Whatever he was doing, she was suddenly unsure whether it was safe or not. Plumber Academy had taught them more than just the difference between alien species and how to run a Null Void prison. Bomb making had also been in the curriculum, and Gwen definitely allowed herself to be worried whether he would use this not-so-newfound skill for good or evil.

Gwen shut the dresser drawer softly and put the basket that she'd been balancing on her hip atop their queen-sized bed before heading into the kitchen to investigate his off-base behavior.

She leaned against the arched doorway of their closet-sized kitchen and watched as he picked bologna from the Oscar Mayer packaging and laid it out on a plate with the utmost precision, laying two more to each side of it in an almost flower-like pattern. "Kevin, what are you doing?"

"Making the delicacy of my childhood." He didn't even glance her way before picking up a spoon from his journey into their cluttered and unorganized silverware drawer. "You want some?"

Mulling over it for a moment, she decided, "Sure." A smile captured her serene features and brought her further into the kitchen as she then perched herself on the counter right beside his workspace, watching as he then dipped the spoon into a jar of applesauce. The smile departed as she witnessed him plop a loaded spoonful on one of the slices of bologna. Maybe agreeing was a mistake…

"I made this basically every day after school when my mom wasn't home." His lips pursed for a moment as some bad memory clouded his vision darker than usual. "She didn't want me using the microwave."

Gwen said nothing but did press a kiss into his messy dark hair, listening as he instantly began to breathe easier.

Kevin continued with his work, spreading the applesauce across the canvas of bologna with the rounded side of the spoon, careful not to dent the surface. The other two slices of bologna received the same treatment of the cautious applesauce application.

"Why are you making this now, exactly?" Gwen questioned, still peering over his shoulder. She pushed the curtain of her auburn hair over one shoulder and out of her way.

"Well, when I was walking through the deli aisle, I saw bologna and this was the first thing I thought of. So I grabbed it." He smirked after that. "And I forgot to order pizza tonight."

Gwen rolled her eyes but still smiled. This was why her boyfriend was probably the greatest ever.

"Which means this is dinner." He pulled out his final ingredient: a bag of baby carrots.

Really, she was regretting her agreement. Honestly, she trusted Kevin with her life and figured that if he ate this through most of his childhood, it couldn't be all bad, but that didn't mean it didn't bother her to watch him throw together such a hodgepodge of foods and have him expect it to taste good after all these years.

Kevin then took out a knife (which prompted Gwen to wonder why his mother had allowed him to use knives as a child) and slit open the bag before proceeding to chop up a few carrots into coin-thin orange discs. Once he had finished this, he sprinkled them in a line across the middle of each slice of bologna. "From here," he said, "we roll them up like burritos and ta-da! It's dinner." This was the first time he looked up at her since she'd entered the space, and he saw her horrified face.

"You were one twisted little kid, weren't you?"

"Gwen," he sighed before carefully picking one up like a waiter picks up his customer's order and presenting it to her. "You don't know that it's bad if you don't try it."

After all the things he'd done for her, going clean, selling his garage, moving near college, forfeiting the hero life, she couldn't say no to this one little request. Gwen could've come up with a hundred excuses, but she didn't, and instead took the piece of bologna with all its disgusting toppings from him and rolled it up in a burrito just as he did in the same instance.

"You ready for the greatest thing you've ever had?" he asked with a knowing, sparkling gleam in his eyes and a smile that could charm even the Devil.

Why had she agreed to this? Gwen reluctantly took a bite, applesauce spilling out the other end and onto her skirt along with a few slices of carrots. But she wasn't complaining. "Oh my god," she said through a mouthful. "Kevin, you're a genius."

"It's the twisted little kid in me," he remarked with a satisfied grin before continuing to eat his own bologna, applesauce, and carrot burrito.

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**A/N: I swear to you that I actually made this for most of my childhood. My mom usually gave us the same three things for every meal so I decided to mix it up and that was the result. I still do it whenever we have bologna (:**

**Anyways, review?**

**~Sky**


	52. FBI

**A/N: I've got a few updates for my Ben 10 stuff coming up, and here's just one to start…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ben 10 or any associated characters. No profit is being made off this fic.**

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A quick rap came at his door. "Kevin, sweetie, there are some men here to see you."

Okay. He hadn't dealt any illegal weapons lately. He hadn't smuggled anything into the country or off world. Kevin mulled it over for a moment while making low sounds of annoyance to make it sound like he was struggling to get out of bed. Really, what could he have done this time? Maybe selling a few fish for a few bucks extra, but come on, that wasn't "dudes at the door in the middle of the morning" worthy...

"Honey, they say they're with the FBI."

"Comin', Ma." Kevin finally pulled the blankets off himself and reached for whatever pants he could find on the floor; he hoped he wouldn't come up with anything terribly grease-stained. "Gimme a sec."

FBI meant Colonel Rozum might've sent 'em. Maybe? He was, what, Air Force? Kevin didn't know a whole lot about the US government, but he was pretty sure those two divisions weren't related enough to send actual agents, not through Rozum's orders, at least.

He made sure he had his Plumber's badge in his pocket and headed towards the door to his room. The sunlight was almost blinding (he loved the lack of sun with living in the converted garage) but it wasn't unbearable. He rubbed his eyes and kept moving, trying to wake up his body in the process.

Kevin's mother moved aside from the door to reveal the two men in suits, both of whom were a bit shocked by Kevin's sheer size as opposed to his small mother. Sunglasses couldn't hide sheer horror. "Alright, whaddaya want?" he asked, leaning against the doorframe with one arm above his head. "It's before noon and I've gotta pick up my girlfriend from school in about an hour for lunch, so let's make this quick."

One of the two cleared his throat and pulled out his badge. He had a tight buzz cut and thinner rimmed sunglasses. "I'm Agent Pilch, and this-" He indicated to his partner. "-is Agent Nein." The other wore a gray suit and had shaggier hair and even a slight goatee.

"Like the German word?" asked Kevin with a half laugh; he earned an elbow in the side from his mother and a brief glare. He brushed off the question before they could give a proper answer. "Never mind. Anyways, really, what's up? Invasion I need to know about? Actually, why didn't you go to Ben?"

"Actually, we'd like to ask you a few questions," affirmed Agent Pilch, flipping his badge shut and tucking it back into his suit's inner pocket.

"Kevin, what the Hell did you-"

"Ma!" He shot her his own glare and stuck his tongue out in the most playful way. "I didn't do anything, I swear. Gwen's been watching me, don't worry."

"Anyways," continued Nein, who actually did have a mildly foreign accent, maybe something European but not quite genuine, "we'd like to ask about your recent purchases of tracking products, spy devices, and other such invasive materials."

Kevin ran one hand through his hair. He was really wishing he'd put a shirt on now. He thought this'd be a two second deal like someone saying "Come with us" and he's just go "Yeah, lemme grab a shirt" and then he'd either run or actually grab a shirt, but questioning him right at the door was something new. He wasn't sure what to think of that. "That stuff? Actually, I'm a Plumber."

"Sir, we have intelligence that says you're a mechanic," said Pilch darkly, voice with an undertone of a threat.

Well, every agency was supposed to have information on the Plumbers. Intergalactic protection for Earth against aliens, yeah, everyone should know about that… "Lemme guess, you guys want some compensation for my so-called 'invasive materials', is that how you put it? You want some money for the government because I bought something that could possibly be used against American citizens, right?"

Nein tugged on his suddenly too tight collar. Pilch spoke up, obviously the dominant of the two agents, "That's exactly right, Mr. Levin. The government is asking for about fifteen hundred dollars in compensation in case you invade another citizen's privacy."

"Dude, I got that stuff 'cause I'm a Plumber. Part of my job is to spy on aliens that could present a serious threat to this planet, and I can't do that without spy material." He folded his arms across his chest and gave both of them a good once over. Suddenly, the clip-on ties were glaringly obvious. "You should really have a nice talk with the magister of this sector, he'll tell you."

Both men's faces went completely blank, like Kevin had just been trying to speak in the languages of SixSix or SevenSeven.

Kevin shook his head and tsked at them. "Damn conartists. Guys, get your act together before you start up stuff like that."

Nein was the first to start shuffling. And when he spoke up, his accent was clearly Chicagoan: "Man, how'd you know?"

Pilch just looked flustered.

"Every government agency knows about the Plumbers. Intergalactic protection is kind of a big deal among any government. So you should know about them, first and foremost, but you really won't run into many more of us around here, so you shouldn't need to worry about that too much." Kevin's tone was instructive and calm. "And you should really find a better schtick. I mean, come on, that's pitiful. Me buying spy gear? Yeah, I get it, but it's pathetic. Find something else."

Pilch shifted on the balls of his feet whereas Nein just shrugged and hung his head.

"Oh, and the fake accent? Dude, you're working for the FBI, you should probably be American. Or at least find a DC accent, you know?" Kevin was honestly ashamed of the world. "And no agent would actually come before noon. Aim for more like three-ish. Better yet, make sure they're home from work."

After a few seconds of just looking embarrassed, Nein apologized quietly and grabbed Pilch's hand and began to head back to their crappy sedan that was parked at the curb.

Kevin's mother gave a soft sigh and shook her head. She patted him twice on the back as he retreated back into the house and shut the door. "Go get a shower and have a nice lunch with Gwen."

Her son gave her a smug look. "Don't open the door for anymore conmen."

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**A/N: Leave a review?**

**~Sky**


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